absence

Nothing, Nothing else Love
can fill in the void that exists
because of your absence
from here, from my breath
for there is this cold touch
this feeling of life gone by
which exists today in me
just due to your absence
for all else in life I carry with me
except only your presence,
and that gives me cold of death
hence I stay here waiting
like an empty house, of bricks
waiting for it's occupants
to live in and be alive again
waiting as an old forgotten city
which desires to rereclaim it's glory
where treasures are hidden
deep somewhere in those ruins
which only you can mine
I wait for you as the peacock
which longs for the rain and
dances in anticipation as it sees
a dark patch of water cloud
I sit on a branch of tree high
looking for a sign as a cuckoo
to see your shadows in clouds
and sit up and sing again
Love, I seethe in this agony
in this long absence of yours
with a hope to find you again
in life here and in next.

Hollowness

Hollowness is just your absence
of you not being here with me
now in this instance, this place
where I seek to find you in
in these unknown streets
and doors and windows
which do not bear any name
neither do the houses say
where you lived once or
where you will come to live
yet I wander in here, seeking

I wander as a lost soul
who has not known this place
not seen these streets, these
corners of the town you live
only to try and find you
and humming songs with
each of my own lost steps
just like it has been for years
only to seek  you, find you
and embrace you again
in my arms, with my heart

Embrace you in those arms
which have now forgetten
your being, your feeling in them
with my heart, that just beats
without recognizing your
once musical rhythms in it
I want to hold you in arms
again, never to let you go
fill the hollowness in me
and fill the hollowness in you
in our souls that have lived
torn, so far apart, in hollowness
without each other, without love.

A question

A Questions keeps annoying me
for there are no answers I have
Do I live in waiting for fragrance
or is this a passing phase I have

Is this wait ever going to end
and ends after a blip in time
or do I have to sustain this pain
without love, continue to whine

But how do I know what's love
for I do not recognize its existence
or is it  my imagination here that
refuse to acknowledge it's persistence

Tell me, where does love exist
if at all present on this earth
or is it so universal that here
am fool to seek, as such from birth

Does love exist in sun at horizon
when it fills it with colors of dawn
or does it remain with the sky
long after the day is gone

Does love exist in the flower
long before it's bud is born
or is it carried in the petals
long after it's withered torn

Does love exist in the fragrance
of the rose or in its thorn
cause I have never seen a rose
without fragrance or thorn

Does love exist in river that flows
or the vast ocean that embraces
or is it that book of them seek
each other, but river just traces

Does love exist in drop or rain
or it is in longing of dry sand
which is thirsty and waits endlessly
for each drop or rain to land

Or Is it that the water seeks
its own land and so does sand
yet its my mind that sees
only rain drop racing to land

Is it because ocean and land
are tied by universe to stand
but both the lover and loved
seek each other all across land

Does love exist only on earth
or is the universe is also in love
I do not see beyond the moon
beyond that stars to see a dove

Do Doves fly beyond this sky
reach the gates beyond sight
I wish I could see all this
riding on my beloved's light

Love Sonet ...

Love is a borrowing of tears
that fill an ocean of life
from one breath to another
from one to another life

Love is like a drop of dew
appearing on morning flower
holding in it the entire universe
and only stays till next shower

Love is like stars and moon
that appear together in dark sky
to shine till the first ray of sun
then disappear in same sky

Love is blooming of a garden
even when leaves fall in autumn
Love is to carry that fragrance
till spring arrives from autumn

May be love is just passing
of bones from life to another
that comes for an instant here
and moves on to another

But then world here itself
exists for a moment or two
but in that moment it lets two
hearts beat as one not two

My love lives feeding on hope
to feel your breath on me again
like passing winds from oceans
carrying your fragrance again

As I move about in life here
I fear of leaving my life behind
only to realize I have lost you
world has not been that kind

For me its just agony of heart
that I feel being away from you
and you still live far and away
unaware that I only long for you

eyes to blink

my eyes carry a pain
for they need to blink
but desire of your face
does not let them close
for what if you were
to come for an instant
and I would lose you
in that one off blink
I would then never ever
forgive myself for not
having seen you again

I live each day, here
hoping for that glimpse
with each passing day
my hope turns into
an act of despair for
you do not come and
when I turn around at
noise of any foot steps
hoping that its you
I see faces I do not know
faces the world may like
but for me that face is
not the one am waiting
for that face is not yours

A seek to see your face
without worries or fear
without pain or anguish
smiling and happy as it can
for there is no pain of yours
that I cannot take away
only if you are willing
to let it go and let me
carry it with me far away
and even when you are
there with me , O beloved
that pain will remain far
far far away from you
so that your face retains
its innocence that it had
on the day I saw you

Am afraid my love
to say anything to you
for am afraid that my act
may unknowingly hurt
you and make you sad
make you feel bad
and steal away a bit
of innocence from
your glowing bright face
Am afraid of myself
and hence I do not
say a word to you
yet I desire your face
desire a glance of you
for me to live, for my
eyes to blink and rest.

different beings

Yesterday, when we met
we were different
it was then I loved you
today when we met
we will be different
and love for you remains
tonight we will sleep
to wake up tomorrow
as different beings
yet I know this much
that my love will remain
irrespective of my life
or my being dead
my desire for you
remains extinguished
it burns in me deep
since it transfered to me
after I saw your heart
and the fire that it carried
ignited me like dry leaves
now I burn each moment
waiting for you to come
bringing your tenderness
only that can now contain
this raging fire that burns me
Love, there is no one
no one else that lets
this desire breathe
in my heart in soul
and yet you watch me
from a distance burning
unwilling to come over
here and extinguish it.
Love, how else do I live
without your presence
for the fragrance lasts
till the rose is near
till shadow of rose remains
else numerous thorns exist
that remain on the branch
but never close to rose
to carry its essence with them
Love, I do not live anymore
I die each moment
to be born again and again
in each breath I recollect
the vague memories of you
that fade with each
passing  minute without you
only to be refreshed
with your tenderness
that lives in my dreams
waiting for you to come
and refresh them again

Love Sonnet

I love her, yes, I did
for all that I know
without knowing why
and how i love her
I just love her
without prejudices
without boundaries
yet I could not confess
for there was no one
i could have confessed to
because the day we were
about to leave each other
we hugged, kissed goodbye
and turned, I took a step
then turned waiting
only to see her walking
waited for her to turn
and may be call out
but she did not even turn
all i heard were footsteps
moving farther and farther
with her shadow also
leaving me standing there
all along by myself
and having her still
deep, in my heart
I moved on from there
hoping that one day
I would get over her
but this love of mine
refuses to let her go
and I waited for her
to call and come
in vain for it was me
who had love for her
and she has been too busy
working her way in
this materialistic world
Now when I meet her
she moves along
as a stranger to me
who never knew me
The one who held hands
the one who walked
distances with me
is cold now to me
and yet I love her
without knowning
why I do still love her

glimpse of you

I seek the garden
with color of  spring
a fresh bloom and
fragrance of flowers
for only in such
a blooming place
I can hope for a
glimpse of you

I have not had
spring in months
and with it I have
forgotten its fragrance
its bloom and color
that resembled you
resembled your face
your innocence, you

I do not seek to
live here without you
yet I breathe in
each moment in here
hoping to catch
a glimpse of you
even till last breath
I hope to see you

I love this earth
this soil and air
this water and
all that exists here
because of you
because you live
on this soil here
breathe this air
touch this water

Because of you
I wait across seas
separated by borders
hoping to catch
glimpse of you
again on this earth
with these eyes
which seek you

because of you my eyes
see your glimpse in every
mirror and every drop
of water that they hold
the dew drop holds
you in them each dawn
and the world vanishes
when I close my eyes

My desire of you
is infinite, unending
yet this life is finite
and I hope to catch
glimpse of you, in life
I have here on earth
before I am born again
to be you then forever.

my desire of you

In my desire of you
I seek a place here
not like this earth
where,
no pain touches you
river of sorrow is far
happiness of waves
washes your feet
moment after moment
may be across ocean
may be on another planet
but a place where
there is no salt that lives
on you from your sweat
and in that each moment
You and I love, seek
each other infinitely
like a perfection that exists
in this sea awaiting river
in this thirsty drop
seeking the dry earth
as love did not live
on its own in my heart
in my soul that lives
in you as you, your love

nothingness

There is void, nothingness
that surrounds me
and I seek to live in it
in this loud vacuum
I seek you at each moment
when I know you are far
the stillness of this time
still brings you closer
in my pursuit of happiness
I seek to fool my heart
with memories of yours
fill my dreams with you

Desolate paths that lighted
when you were with me
are now dark always
even under glaring sun
the beats down myself
burning me down completely
but I see a hollowness inside
for my heart is no longer there
I lost my heart to you     (a 2 day gap between heart and following lines)
and I no longer own it
yet the desire for you
burns in the same heart
even though it is not with me
I cannot loose this desire

I no longer love you

I no longer love you,
as love is only finite
it ends with these bones
that go back to elements
when we breath our last
yet my soul would
continue to crave for you
from this life to another
and in between of
these two lives as well

I no longer seek you
for seeking is for self
but when soul connects
you want the other
to be happy always
and that is not about
seeking other soul
but seeking happiness
for the other soul
irrespective of this
that it makes me happy
it doesn't make me happy

I no longer see you
for I can see another
only when that is not me
now that am you
and you are in me
how else do I see you
with my own eyes
without turning them
inwards, towards my heart
where I just see you, no me
from the begining of time
to the end of eternity.

failure

Ah, how do I express
my feelings for you
to you
for my vocabulary
is limited
and words fail me
to find an expression
to say it to you
that how much
I have loved you
cause the heart
does not hear noise
that comes from
this mouth
in form of words
for they are just
not enough to be
able to express feelings
of one heart
for another
which are best expressed
without failure of  speach
through the silence
in which my heart
communicates with yours
in front of everyone
and yet no one hears,

I am no potter

How do I touch your skin
with an impeccable tone
and glow that only it has
in the fire that it did hone

for my hands will dirty it
leaving marks all over
for I am no potter here
who knows how to cover

Though I may not toil
each day out in the sun
yet my hands not as clean
as the texture of your skin

Am afraid to hold you tight
for I may deform tenderness
of your lovely innocent face,
and also of hands softness

the clay that makes you up
is clean, clear and my hands
dont have that skill to lift
and put it in the stands

I am no potter, beloved
to put clay, turn wheel
onto your tender heart
or mold that hands deal

I am no potter, my love
for me to know how much
sun is needed to let firm
and yet let you be as such

Dear, Am afraid to hold
for my hands leave a mark
on clay that is fresh cause
I am no potter to hide dark

I don't see you

I don't see you anymore
in my dreams at night
for the night like it stars
twinkles in my eyes with
memories of our time together
yet does not give me moments
in which my eyes close and
I go into a state of dreams
where I am in in yours
and you are in my dreams
like this river that is in sea
and no one can make out
where the river did end
and where the sea took over

My nights are devoid of sleep
that used to be in my eyes
ever since you are gone,
far away in a distant land
and I search like a Bedouin
searching for a little oasis
in the big dry and empty desert
where thirst is quenched
and in whose fire and water
bread he eats is baked
just like the flare the comes
as light reflected by your skin

my dawns are without the breeze
that flows each morning here
on this earth as it wakes up
fresh like a wave of sea
lashing on the shore here
one after another dragging
these houses made in sand
along with it in its depth
never to be seen, here ever
but to let us have more of
this sand and gravel here
to keep building more homes
and decorate them with love

my days are dark and gloomy
with no sun to shine here
without your presence in
my afternoons which are dark
like dense black clouds
which cover the sun high
but are never low enough
either to merge with the cloud
or to have droplets falls
that can reach this thirst earth

then I waited for monsoon
to send me winds filled
with water to breathe
and fragrance to live for
just like a small fresh bud
of the spring that is about
to bloom after tough winter
bringing with it all its
colors and fragrance
to lighten up my world

I used to also wait for you
each hour of the day
at the same place we met
day after day, week after week
like the hands of the clock
which visit the same spot twice
in the day, once in light
and other again in dark
in hope that if someone is
shy of the light and world
that one can appear in dark

I used to see you with eyes
and in my dreams always
and when I could not open
nor I could sleep at night
I had you always with me
deep in my heart captured
there with my soul as companion
but still as a deer I searched
for you like my musk
which is within me
and I seek the world for you
love, how else do i describe
this unending love for you
for even when you are far
I see you in my heart always

Winter sun

Its peak of a cold winter
sky decides to rain love
in form of this sunshine
as sun appears from mist

the dew on grass holds
as loved to lover at dawn
unwilling to let go of quilt
that covers sleepy dreams

air around has a bit of nip
but just enough to entice
birds to chirp and fly again
in pairs to promised land

the air is clear of usual fog
inviting us to stroll ahead
experience glory of lovers arms
in this outreach of sunshine

i reach out, seeking your hand
to hold in this frosty morning
to warm it together in sunshine
walk to adobe hand in hand

Am blinded

Am blinded by your radiance
cause whenever I see you
I see a human form that is
made from nothing but light

i see my dark drawn towards
the fire that forms your body
and bright light that it holds
deep within as its holy soul

I have no desire beyond this
that burns with your body
for I have no life without soul
that is not with me any more

Love, my life, soul lives in you
why then you deny my burning
I travel to seek my own soul
but you deny me my own being

I just follow fragrance of house
that has let me soul live so long
I seek to find its windows here
and yet all I see walls around

Why love, why are you so shy
to come and embrace me again
my arms know your feel well
they do not want to feel another

Why love, why you carry burden
of this shyness with you forever
when I am and you know now
shyness is not gonna sustain forever

drop veils of inhibition that you build
and let me seek myself in your soul
for there is nothing that lives in here
except withered yellow leaves on floor

The trees have long dried barren
rustic leaves are scattered on road
for you and I to walk on them again
in hope that it will be spring again

I know the garden would be green
no one can stop the spring to come
but what use is a spring that blooms
without its most precisous flower in it

I have seen Sakura once, just once
and now I want more of it for me
for am not satisfied with one glimpse
my love needs all of Sakura for me

Not just for this season or next
nor for this decade or there after
I need this for myself from now on
till eternity, beyond death, thereafter

For I know the fire that makes you
would never be extinguished in me
it will change forms from one to another
but will continue to house my soul, me

I may change from a thorn to vase
but in each case rose would be there
for thorn no existence without rose
neither the vase without its eternal flower

likeliness

Am told city is magnificent, beautiful
but how could that be without you
the streets are crowded, yet lonely
they have not seen your feet, you

The gardens has color, fragrance
but it misses most precious flower
when clouds are dark, i look up
the dark is sad, doesn't shower

The dark too seems to seek you
the likeliness it finds in no one
my dark may fought many battles
but without you it has none won

Love, I have searched the city
but no one had likeness to you
I went from door to door seeking
a likeliness, knowing it was you

How could have I found someone
when no one else can have the soul
the world may have many faces
but seeking you never took a toll

they told me that faces are beautiful
when nothing even compares to you
how else do I seek you love, tell me
no other way I know to reach you

seeker

Love,
I have been seeking
you
with both my eyes
knowing fully well
that you do not dwell
in this town or city
yet my eyes
do not listen
to me
they look
for your likeliness
in all beings
in each door
and each window
peeping to find
a soul that resembles
your being
but they are oblivious
to the fact that
you reside
in my heart
always
that they need not
look outwards
to find you my love
all they need to do
is shut themselves
and seek you inwards
to seek solace
in your image
that resides in heart
until
my wandering soul
again finds you
in this earth
in this life or
in next lifes to come
for the sole purpose
of my being
on this earth
is to seek you

Secrets of night

As the sun used to set on day
I waited with baited breath
for the night to come to me
and reveal its secrets of dark
yet the night saw me waiting
passed by without a word
with me seeing it with eyes
shutting my lids only at dawn
and then one fine morning
you came along, from blue
unheard, unseen line no one
who sat with me for a moment
in that moment day and night
stopped to let me know
what is secret of light dark
and i knew in that moment
my dark that lives in heart
is illuminated by your love
Beloved, yet you stayed
here only for that moment
and now I know the secret
but you again stay away far
where even when I call
my voice does not reach
yet I call out to you at dusk
hoping to live by the night
I call out to you at dawn
hoping to see through day
knowing fully well that
you are far and distant
my voice does not reach
yet again I beg of night
whose secrets is revealed
only through your presence
to carry my voice in its silence
to you and convey to you
that beloved am waiting
yet again for you to come
hear secrets of each night
together beloved, you and I

being you

I look at the night
 and question
where it hides you,
amidst its darkness
for this moon is bright
cause it reflects your face
and the constellations
take shape due to you
they align to your artistry
yet you are nowhere
to be seen or heard
and this cruel night 
remains silent like ever
even when it knows
each moment I seek you
and it enjoys my agony
my wandering, search
for my soul, my life
that is not with me
and yet I live here
only to meet with you
Love, see there is nothing
else that keeps me alive
yet even if I were to die
without meeting you
I would be born again
to seek you for me
in life one after another
till I am with you
though I was never away
as my soul rests with you
but how does a man
ever live without a soul
this longing would make
me to be born again
until I end up being you

its shame

You are sad, its a shame
how can you be sad here
on this earth, in this life here
where you bear all this life
you breathe, breeze flows
at your glance waves dance
at your insistence soul seeks
and my body fills with my soul
which is no one but just you
that is why soul fills all of me
i am filled with my soul and yet
I can not have enough of it
for how can fish have enough
of this river, this ocean this water
am may be just a drop in here
as one who's soul you fill
yet when I merge with you
me as a drop merges with ocean
am no one then, just you
beloved see am seeking you
at an expense of loosing me
yet you are sad, its a shame
that you let the world bog you
when you hold eternity in you
from my life in yours and to
owning every breath of it
you are the one who commands
me through the heart to love
and yet you come and ask
me what is this love, this bond
and you remain sad, its a shame
beloved look, come behold here
for there is nothing in me
that is not you, that is not you

Love Sonnet (I have forgotten the number)

i loved you, then
I longed for you
as the sand beneath
my feet starts to slip
I again long for your 
tender little hand
to hold me here
along with you and
not let me slip away

I loved you, then
I dreamed about you
each night of mine
I spent far being
away from you
my dreams with
eyes open or close
had just you in them
that's why I dreamed
to see you and behold
the fading image
in my heart forever

I loved you then
I adore you now
for the strength that
you carry in you
to overcome all
odds that pull you
try to pin you
and yet you fight
to overcome them
with inner resolve
stronger than any
yet you retain
your innocence
your tenderness

I loved you then
and I love you now
and seek to take
away the sorrows
that plague you
your life today
and at each dusk
so that you sleep
peacefully with dreams
of life and sea
of greens and sun
of moon lit nights
and sounds of life

I loved you then
and I love you now

I dream

I dream the freshness
that your air brings
and the lovely song
that your river sings
the fragrance of earth
at your door windows
and the springs color
across earth's meadows

I breathe in an essence
there with your presence
i still live on here now
in spite of heart's absence
for it resides in its house
somewhere in your heart
in a small corner it found
coming alive with your heart

I dream heaven on earth
that comes with you
holding my waving feet
when I walk with youI dream the tenderness
of life your heart brings
this lovely moments in
life that presence brings

like always...like never before

This air, this sea,
these roaring waves
all have changed and
so has the season
day, week and month
and so has my love
which stays with you
even when it does not
see or feel you here, hence
I love you like always
I love you like never before

I long for your touch
for a word of yours
a fleeting glance
and the glow of
your rainbow
that is scattered
each time you smile
and now I wait for it
to see and in this waiting
I love you like always
I love you like never before

In each dawn that breaks
and each fresh gust of air
that comes with it
leaving the stars behind
riding on crest of clouds
that have waited for
this dark night to get over
and seek the sun again
over an horizon
which has changed
since you and I met
yet I continue to seek you
over the same horizon
each dawn at a time
and i still love you
in-spite of this absence
your presence is felt
deep in me and hence
I love you like always
I love you like never before

I am the one

I am the one that
begs of the sun
to let me hide in
its first of the rays
that pierces your
houses window
each new morning
on your lovely face

I am the one who
asks the clouds
to carry me with
other drops of
before it rains
and let me be the
first drop to fall
and splash on you

I am the one who
begged of the dawn
to be in its colors
for you to come
and let me witness
the freshness of
each new morning
like no one has

I am the one that
asks of the grass
to let me rest on
its tender twigs
as tiny drop if dew
and feel your feet
when you walk on me
taking me along

I am the one who
asks for the dusk
to be the last ray
falling on your door
before you wind up
leaving the horizon
with you watching
as this night falls

I am that one that
begs of the sky
to let me be the
first star of night
that rains on your
houses roof each
and every night
before you sleep

I am the one who
begs of unconscious
to let me be a thought
somewhere in dreams
that you live through
in your own sleep
peacefully each night
owning your nightmares

my mirror

whenever I do look
at my own mirror
I see a beautiful face
and this is not me
for my mirror never
showed me this way
but now it has one
who is unparalleled
beyond any words
and glows in my face
in my own mirror
and then I realize
this is since time
I met you in here
and this mirror
no longer shows
me to my own self
but it shows you
whenever i look
at my own mirror
I see an image
that is you, your face
and my eyes stuck
with bewilderment
as to how the mirror
could have lied
and then I realize
it does not, but
it no longer shows
me my physical self
but the soul the lives
deep in me as one

Shadow

I was troubled by my shadow
for it did not ever leave
me for a moment of solitude
and when I confronted
it said, cause am you
cause you exist I exist
it Said "cause i love you"
"my love is unconditional"
and I laughed it off then
as an argument of a pest
who did not want to leave

and yet now when I realize
after knowing you this while
that how much ever I love you
I can only ape that shadow
but never greater than that
for it will go with us in life
and be blended with us
even after that in death
It does not leave us on earth
never ever alone here
even when our hearts bleading
it is silent to feelings
and yet stays with us
in all our good and bad

we have lived

Love, We have lived
so far in the tenderness
of this cool wind
breeze after breeze
floating in fresh air
like a smooth feather
without any wings
hoping that our love
carries us all the way
through this starry night
and across the depths
of dark blue ocean
and endless lands
meadows and gardens
into the arms of each other

Love, we have felt
thus far a current of emotion
of this turbulent ocean
wave after wave
dancing on calm water
without any sails
hoping that our eyes
caresses each others
emotions bustling at shores
of life that does bring
a new dawn to me
each morning with
your lovely glowing face.

just when

Just when I took a step
to move closer to you
I realize i have just passed
the point where you were
to sudden trace my feet
and realize that all along
I have been running
this far in a circle and
am still stuck at the place
where I had once begun

Just when I pick a brush
and dip it into a color
i realize that the color
I have is no different
than the color on wall
that I have been painting
the wall over and over again
in the same color without
every creating a picture
except last few strokes
of brush that remain visible

Just when I feel this breeze
of a joyous spring unfold
I open my eyes to see
withered leaves around me
realize that spring is still far
I have been in an autumn
imagining the long winter
is gone to let sun shine
once again on our garden
and make this garden bloom
with me and you in it
amongst the fragrance
of these colored flowers

dawn to dusk

As soon as the day breaks
I see a riot of colors
before first rays of sun
the dawn shows it magic
with each spot changing
colors at every moment
and then the day breaks

The sun then shines bright
concealing all colors in it
but letting us see varied hues
in the land that we walk
from one end to another
the sand, the water all
change colors at each step
and then sun begins to fade

Yet again the riot breaks
colors compete each other
showing the magic possessed
the dusk's shadow on the sea
with same colors as above
for one last time in the day
before walking away again

Its dark, pitch dark now
the night still has the moon
and the stars with little light
for earth to find its way
across the dark universe
amidst ways that crisscross
various large fields of stars
and planets that move
from one place to another
without a known destination
holding on to the hope
that colors will come again
soon before another dawn
is about to break yet again

horizon

Beyond the shores of land
and up till my vision sees
I seek you in all, all across
its because of your absence
that the horizon exists here
and I look at it endlessly
waiting for you to come
once from that shore to
this land, across seas
and on the saddle of
this breeze on this wind
to this land where I wait
endlessly, seeking you
in each breath of mine
in each bread that i break
and each bite I swallow
tastelessly stuffed down my
dry, wanting, calling throat
to hope to live till the day
I get to see you again
in the same arms of mine
which held you once here
holding those little hands
possessing my big dreams
of life and Love, on this earth
Love, I have longed for you
seeking you in each movement
of a wave on the wings of wind
holding me here at this shore
still looking at that horizon

For Years

For years I have waited
to catch a glimpse of you
and yet when I am about to
the world begins to fade
and the sea that has been
calm all along with patience
brims with restlessness
rocking the ships that head
from the horizon to the shore
and my wait for you grows

For years I have loved
the essence that the wind
carried from across that seas
from an unseen distant land
emerging from the small
windows of your house
on to those blessed streets
blending with the fragrance
from that mystic city of yours
all the way this hollow ocean

For years I have dived
in the depth of your lovely
eyes that carry with them
the depths of innocence
and with them the hidden
pain of unseen wounds
inflicted by this world
unwarranted yet real
but still you preserved
your innocence in them

For years I have hoped
to live with that innocence
in company of numerous
long curled tresses flowing
with wind that comes here
and yet hiding the sun
and also this moon light
to come and be with me
my being in your presence
when there is nothing else

For years I have lived
hoping as an peacock
ready with colored wings
spread to dance again
at the sight of those clouds
before they begin to pour
on this dry thirsty land
and again have that fragrance
that has waited for years
that has waited for years.

तन्हाई

एक आरज़ू थी कि कभी तो वो हाथ मिले,

हम हाथ बड़ाए खड़े रहे, बिन मौसम फुहार मिले 

तंग दिल में कम न था आंसुओं का खजाना 

एक निकले और उसे दुसरे का साथ मिले

कितना दबाऊँ में इस उफान को और मुझमें 

इस नज़र को अब हर जगह तू ही तू दिखे

अब बहुत जी लिया यहाँ मेंने तेरे बगेर 

हर शाम मेरे साथ बस मेरी तन्हाई दिखे

ना कर तू और कोई भी कर्म मेरे लिए

कहीं ऐसा ना हो उस पार तेरी कमी लगे

किस आहट किस उम्मीद पे मैं जिन्दा हूँ 

हर उम्मीद आखिर में एक मृगतृष्णा लगे

कब तक सांस चलेगी एक मृगतृष्णा भरोसे 

तेरे बगेर तो यह सांस भी दुश्वार लगे

how do I know

How do I know
what is beauty
for I have never
looked at anyone
except your face

how do I know
what is darkness
I have had glimpse
of your radiance
hence i see nothing

how do I know
what is called light
for i dream and
long for you long
terse to give shade

how do I know
what is hatred
as there is not
enough time
to hate anyone

how do I know
what is called love
for I have no one
except you that
I have ever known

how do I know
how, where you are
for I have met you
only once before
and i seek ever since

moving afar

the day we were moving afar
I never had expected you
to turn back and look again
but still my heart longs for you
and whenever I see the sea
I remember the depth in you
in those eyes which were calm
but hid the deep pain in you
I want to be at the same place
that is alive because of you
and inhale that lovely fresh air
carrying fragrance from you
but how do I ask the sun
with all its light that's you
to shower all its brightness
on me, when I know you
as the nymph I have seen
and that image in eyes, you
how do i let that image afar
even if I am separated from you
i have,  in my heart in soul
and deep in my veins - you
even if you remain indifferent,
far, my heart will beat for you

shifting sand

I have not known
yet I have lived this way
just to know you
and love you like no one

in this place where
you have lived forever
and in every place
I have searched for you

in these footprints
of shifting sand and time
i seek your feet
before I kneel to kiss

I love this air here
only because it touched
your loveliness once
before it did reach me

I love this sky
this moon and these stars
because they see you
and bring your well being to me

I have no other wish
except to be in life with you
now, here and thereafter
till each breath is lived to fullest

Love, you are the one
who is like no one I have known
in this expanse now
and beyond times that come

I love you because
there is nothing more beautiful
than the soul in you
reflected through those eyes

I love you because
no one else has the depth
that pierces me deep
than the twinkle of your eyes

Love, do not go far
for if i am not able to walk
or swim towards you
I will wait endless at the horizon

I will be there for you
on the shore of the seas you leave
from dusk to dawn
waiting for my sun to rise again

what did we gain?

Beloved what do you weigh, and why?
how much did we loose in all this
how much did we gain by being far
how much life and how mush of death

Love, We had not lost anything
when you and I had together then
but we did gain life from moments
and our share of joy and happiness

We had gained life in every minute
every second of togetherness
irrespective of who world brought
or what this life made us go though

Love, what did we gain like this
by being far, except multiple deaths
that came by being away from you
and a lost hope, which made us live

We lost thread from heart to heart
and the view of distant shore where
we saw each other each dusk and dawn
only to wait for another day dying

Why then my love, why, why
why do you weigh and for what
when we only lost by being far
and lived when we were together

stitched together

We are stitched together
by the threads of this night
this expanse of night sky
which stretches all the way
from my city to your home
in-spite of rivers it crosses
limitless oceans and land
across the span of greens
specks of dust of deserts
We are still stitched as one
when you still hold my soul
with you and I long for
that tenderness of yours
when you arms go round
and embrace me in you
as one who never was
separated from your being
We are stitched together
through that invisible thread
that joins our two hearts
making them beat as one
with all steps in tandem
across the two horizons
that you and I see now
in our respective cities
hoping to meet one again
when your hands touch me
hold me never to let go

light and dark

A dark moonless night
lighted with little lamps
with flame dark corners
but there is still a place
I myself cannot reach
to place a lamp there
nor to burn what exists
except burning myself

There is a small corner
deep somewhere in
depths of my lonely
heart that is still dark
and only your touch
can reach those corners
which have remained
for ages in that dark

Love, come and heal
the dark that has stayed
in me for these ages
longing for your light
come and let me drift
into the dark in you
that your heart carries
and lets share its weight

break of dawn

I wanted to be in your shadow
you moved to let the sun blind me
waiting for your presence from
first ray of morning to dusk
I remained there in the sun
now its dark, with no sun
its dark, there is no moon
and even if you come now,
I would not be able to see
you or your shadow I craved
I would not be in your shadow
for in dark there is you and me
there are no shadows here
I hope to wait and see you
again with the morning light
but am afraid, like each day
you will again decide to leave
my dreams at break of dawn

Waves

Waves of ocean are quiet today
perhaps they hear roaring waves
deep in my heart, in our hearts
bashing the walls, going back
to come, bash again and again
with bursts of emotions here
that my love, our love carries
and yet we are seperated
from our hearts, in denial
over this uproar that heaves
in us, in our hearts together
but still we decide to be
facing this uproar separately
when I know, we both know
that only way this will calm
is for you and I to be together
without any walls artificial
built between our hearts
so that a wave from mine
can travel up to yours
and a wave from yours
can come and rest in mine
 

A star has risen

A star has risen
from depths of heart
with dreams of love
a life makes a start

holding my heart near
through invisible thread
close and yet tender
with those little hands

this night was dark
with no moon or stars
and then you arise
in my heart and soul

bringing hope and
glimpse of life, light
brightening the dark
that came with night

without you here
had never realized
was not afraid to die
but only to live on

this life is not cruel
but this emptyness
without you is a killer
bleeding each moment

now that you are here
a star in my dark night
has risen yet again
A star has risen

A star has risen
deep in my heart
shining bright as ever
in midst of its dark

eternal spring

I have seen your being
which you deny
There are times when
you just decide to breathe
and the air around
becomes fragrant
Time just stops to feel
and the wind carries your
being all towards me
yet you deny your being

I am still here in your alley
for nowhere else I can
find that breeze
that has touched you
and comes towards me
bringing with it
a new spring
that has alluded me
all these years
in my journeys
devoid of you
at times in stars of north
at others in starts of south

All that I had in my journey's
were season of barren trees
where all the leaves had
already withered and
trees waited for a cold
lonely winter
and by the time winter
was to get over
I would have travelled yet again
far where the spring
was still far far away

I saw the sakura once
and it was a big surprise
as it was still autumn there
and then I realized
cherry blossom
came because of you
as you brought the breeze
and color to that garden
making it alive yet again
in that autumn

Beloved why then you
stay away and let
these gardens wither
these flowers wait
and my heart suffer
Come for now its time
for you to save this garden
else the world would say
there is no garden,
just specs of sand
scattered here and there

Beloved, why you deny
your existance to yourself
show me your eyes
and do not close them
I need to be deep
in that ocean there
forever, to live
and then who cares
if there is a heaven
cause for me this spring
will never end

Beloved, come here
and call me in you
in those arms of yours
holding me with
your tenderness
by your hands
that held me once
to give me a glimpse
of that eternal spring
only to let me go
into another autumn
into another winter

October Bloom

Its October yet again
as leaves change color
then they start to wither
but its in this lovely season
of lovely colored autumn
when each leaf of tree
turns itself into a flower
blooming with varied hues
before letting go its tree
like a flower withers
for the twig to be barren
like a leafless winter tree
to welcome new leaves
for a new colored spring
with bloom to arrive
and color our lives again

Its October yet again
as Sun decides to restrain
its glare on this earth
to let each leaf bloom
into petals with hues
and its only in autumn
when full tree smiles
with its whole being
unhindered, pristine
laughter, that happens
just once every year
and then it waits
for the little smiles
for a spring to arrive
have some new buds
and let them bloom

Spring is still bit far
so are the little smiles
of blooms and colors
but we have the trees
right now here with us
blooming as never before.

Why I love

Dont ask me why I love you
I don't have words to say
If you ask me how I love you
I can show love in infinite way

There is no reason to love
just the craving of my soul
there are a hundred ways
but all reach you, my goal

why should I not love you
when all that I posses is you
why should I seek someone
when soul just craves for you

Each night when stars come
I see them merely flickering
then in dark night I seek you
I see the world is glittering

Night is dark even with moon
hence I seek your two eyes
for they light my path bright
giving hope to future that lies

I  seek you through this night
let the dark merge with dawn
new day breaks and I still seek
your eyes, to heal heart torn

My beloved my love lives
from one life to another life
dying each night without you
seeking you again in sun's life

roots in earth

Why do I not love you
Why do I not long for you
This Earth with no expectation
lets a rose, a Lilly, take roots
holds the bud and lets it bloom
then when your love has
its roots deep in my heart
should stop love from bloom?

I cannot stop myself
from caring for this
deep root love of yours
which is entrenched in heart
Its my hearts nature
to hold roots, water them
and let them nourish
buds they support, to bloom

These roots are not just
flowers, colors or fragrance
they have thorns with them
which carry flower's fragrance
and it pierces through me
whenever I try to hold
the flower close to me
and soak in its fragrance

beloved, my love is no different
it tries to hold you close
without touching your tenderness
that is made for my heart
and takes care of my soul
which resides in yours
and still you ask, why do I love
why do I still long for you

without you

Who am I, without you
maybe just a wanderer
traveler who is searching
for its own soul's bearer
like a thirsty bird in desert
looking for that little oasis
one who has wings to fly
but own hurdles it faces


Roaming aimlessly in place
that had slightest resemblance
to you and your lovely face,
or had your fragrance, essence
I long for the shade of yours
for me to be hidden behind
from the glare of this world
in a heart, loving and kind


Yet, love, you just deny
 you posses my little soul
and tell me again and again
to focus on my life's goal
How do I find another goal
when purpose is known
and yet life eludes it always
heart bleeds, pierced, torn


I traveled and searched globe

to find your resemblance
but no one ever had a heart
just a long void, your absence
Love, I continue to seek you
and yet you remain elusive
holding my soul and denying
labeling my craving allusive

Twilight

How I wish this twilight
would hold here forever
with sun not starring bright
having all the varied hues
that flickering dim light
that lets you see horizon
holding back dark night
for as long as possible

How I wish this sky
will always have colors
where varied birds fly
to their homes nests
to give it another try
for little ones to get wings
reach in expanse, fly
beyond the visible horizon

How I wish this sea
always reflects these hues
with little glimmer to see
the distant boats arrival
visible in horizon as wee
and growing as it nears
to be with family for tea
and enjoy feel of home

How  I wish this earth
is always cool like this
waiting for night's birth
holding to precious little
moments for they are worth
any price more than gold
to pay there is no dearth
but the time never holds

How I wish this time
would stop here now
let me soak music, chime
in a moment for self
taking it is no crime
when a light wind blows
but does not stop for dime
but let me try and hold time

my embrace

I loved your small hands
wrapped around my neck
and holding me tightly
letting me embrace you

My beloved that hold
lives in me fresh as ever
and without you here now
I long for it again and again

and in spite of my love
I let you go, hold another
for I cannot reason love
nor the feeling of love

Yet I know this my love
that if someone holds you
you will realize, what feeling
you had with my embrace

No one else can have
arms that can replace
no hands can touch you
the way I have held you

Then and only then beloved
you will realize my feelings
that were in that embrace
when I last met you love

Love, that's when I will have
conveyed my love to you
without action, without words,
and yet in most lasting way

To hold you in my arms
wrap tight in my embrace
with you holding me again
with those little hands

your essence

Having traveled far
looking for my soul
I have breathed air
from various places
which filled my lungs
without discrimination
helping me survive

Sometimes this air
was hot and humid
at times it was dry
sometimes cold, heavy
while at others it had
a moist tinge to it
splashing droplets

but in each place
I have been seeking
intoxicating fragrance
of yours that lives
always in my heart
and stays there
always with you

I live this life fully
not because of air
nor because of place
but because of you
your essence in me
that remains in me
and my soul in you

Separation

After a short day, with your light
I have been through a long night
which seems endless and forever
i sit with heart which has to suffer
through this dark night all alone
waiting for sun, your eyes to atone
this dark night is suffering a lot now
and moon refuses to take a bow
these stars wait endless to retire
when our hearts are joined by wire
to speak to each other all over
rekindle talks in your lights cover
I still am paying a very heavy price
for seeing into your eyes, my vice
few hours of light has made me suffer
life since has been under dark cover
why did you meet for short while
only to stay away and put me in exile
Why is this night so much in love
with my loneliness over my love
Beloved, why do you stay away
what do you wait for in this stay
am losing breaths without a living
come be with my soul's being
I search for you in nights darkness
yet my dreams elude me in sleepness
I long for your eyes yet again
to see through those eyes again

Language Barrier

Love,
Why are you stuck on words
I can understand your smile
this laughter needs no words
I can feel your pain, anguish
tears conveyed without words
and see our little hearts talk
in a language without words

Love,
my feelings are like a stream
flowing rapidly towards you
no rocks can ever hold them
as they flow along towards you
reaching polished and smooth
with no sharp edges to harm you
or contours to even hurt you

Love,
do not insist on more of words 
cause I regret all I write here
my feelings are beyond words
and when I read all this I realize
not an iota is captured in words
why then you insist on this language
artificial, man made barrier of words

why do I love

why do I Still love you
when we know we leave
all that we have right here

My skin, my body, eyes
borrowed from elements
and will return to them

Only my soul survives
which is with your soul
and yet I crave for you

from youth to twilight
I desire more of this
and hope to delay night

Night which is inevitable
yet I want day to exist
from now and to forever

My love for you still knows
no bonds and I still love you
knowing we will separate here

In each day I see your face
flower smells your fragrance
and moon shows your image

Yet my soul resides in you
peacefully knowing all it can
it has its destination beyond life

I met your soul

I thought, love is foreign
and then I met your soul
conveying without words
love is the my sole goal

there are no doors here
yet heart welcomes you
its deaf to all noise, but
hears whispers from you

had imagined an image
of how love should be
you are so different to it
telling how love is to be

heart build many barriers
your being shattered all
I never knew what love is
now just need your call

transparent walls of heart
have your image all over it
my pulse is my sole bead
I chant your name bit by bit




Ah the distance from love
is what is killing me now
come beloved hold me
take me in embrace now

my arms are open for long
and you test my patience
how long love do I wait
life is here for an instance

Love Sonnet

Love, I look at your image
and imagine how someone
created something so perfect
and unique like no one

Love, you have pure heart
which carries with itself
a pilgrim soul, unblemished
purifying all apart from yourself

Love, I hold your small hand
and feel softness of universe
with firmness of belief, assurance
carefree, this life I can traverse

Love, I see in your light eyes
and see depths of life, seas
how else do I get the treasure
except by diving into the seas

Love, I feel your breath close
carried from far by this air
it has your essence, fragrance
giving me life of my share

Love, I long for your being
hoping life knocks my door
as a wandered I seek you
in your city searching each door

longing

What use is this sordid life
when you are not around
these breaths are a burden
if your feet bless other ground

I lived in times you lived
and yet you remain elusive
I longed for you, your hair,
color and radiance you give

Yet, my longing has no end
for you remain far and distant
I cannot bow to your land
I never been there an instant

I need to kneel, kiss earth
that held you for so long
be in the same place where
your breaths make a gong

how do I stay away from
the fragrant air of your town
which houses your essence
which gives you fairy crown

Beloved you are being unkind
by not looking back at me
I have held you in heart forever
and you are indifferent to me

How much else do I love you
this longing seems to be endless
I loved you with all Love I had
and this longing left me lifeless

why you count my years to me
without you there was no life
I lived moments with you around
rest was a body breathing, no life

see you ever again

Leaves are beginning to wither again,
in between we had this long wait
there came Diwali, Christmas and eid
yet I did not see you ever again

I waited, every day, every occasion
and yet you did not show up ever
my desire of you kept growing
yet I did not see you ever again

There was season of Spring, colors
and that remained colorless this year
heart had buds of love waiting bloom
yet I did not see you ever again

This monsoon was weird alone
my eyes, cheeks wet in every rain
I longed for you, I prayed for you
yet I did not see you ever again

Why did we have to meet once
if we had to separate forever again
my patience for your face is infinite
yet I did not see you ever again

Beloved, Diwali, Christmas are close
and its time for all to share the floor
come lets rekindle the love again
yet I did not see you ever again

traveller

I leave you to travel far and wide
but then at end of each long day
I crave for your long locks to hide
your essence in every place i stay

holding onto you deep in my heart
I walk on to a destination unknown
some average, some designed art
civilization, some afloat, some drown

with each step my craving grows
and I want to return to your fold
where each morning your face shows
nested, cuddling as love birds told

my head wants to rest on your lap
holding you tight with my little hand
but you know this distance, this gap
why across the seas do we stand

Me and you are all mere travelers
transiting around the sun each year
yet you see me as a lone traveler
who will never stay with you here

I am not a traveler, yet I travel
for me your are the destination
why then I seek places to unravel
when you are soul, lord's creation

forget you

Beloved, I will forget you
once I forget how to live
how to die and live again
or to die over and over
and yet retain your breathe
how to give away soul
and still be alive here
how to look at elements
and see a picture of you

Beloved, I will forget you
once I forget this sun
the moon and the stars
this lovely autumn breeze
these crumpled leaves
this wait for white winters
hues and fragrance of spring
the rays one summer sun
and yet I may not forget you

Beloved I will forget you
but then there is nothing
alive in me that's not you
from the beats to heart
from the blood to viends
and right from this little
mind to that endless soul
there is nothing that is mine
except my love for you

Beloved I will forget you
may be not in this life
or in many there after
but one day when I will
in many lives hereafter
I would have found something
which is beyond all known joys
that you bring to my heart
may be, I will never forget you

vine of memories

I lived for the moments of time
you and had spent together
and now your memories live
as vines wrapping around me
with thorns piecing deep in me
taking roots inside my heart
for them to stay there forever
and let me carry these wounds
always with me where i go
bleeding my heart drip by drip
with a weird pain here in me
like an half pierced arrow
of your, your eyes and love
that is stuck there as a token
from you, which I can not
take out as i would loose
only token I got from you

These vines grow big tight
strangulating my self, being
and yet I cannot hug them
for these are just memories
and a body needs elements
to hold onto, to live to survive
you, who is from these elements
makes these elements special
for they may have been else
but they never had this virtue
that they carry on being you
and thats why you know
my love for you never ends
it transcends being of elements
and deep into the pilgrim soul
that lives in you with innocence
better than that of any child

intoxicating wine

with her I tasted an intoxicating wine
a wine that was from her eyes into me
one made from her innocent face, eyes
now no other wine can be intoxicating
no other wine can match her eyes
and then she decides to stay away
and keep me wanting for her more
O beloved, I never told you this
but there is no cure for me now
am drunk with that heavenly nectar
that flows through you onto me
and brings with it glory of life
holding with it light from your face
to brighten darkness of my heart
and yet you stay far, depriving me
of both life and my wine to forget it

O Love, this world has forgetten
then to make a better glass of nectar
how do I drink from any other cup
when cup you brought had your color
where else can a cup have that color
where else can a cup have that grace
hold it and you behold me without touch
drop it and you kill me without sword
come and give me your embrace again
let me be drunk forever in your arms
and have the wine of yours in viens
running inside me instead of blood
and then even if the priests, pundits
throw me out of temples or churches
I would have no regrets for the same
for I would have got my beloved, god

clouds are dark

the clouds are dark again today
and the rains are ready for me
ah this is just like that gloomy day
when I can cry and rain covers me

She met me and then she left
holding her head high in pride
her walk had mesmerizing deft
making distance within us wide

ah, my heart it knows no way
but to love her, for all she is
heart! what more do you say
nothing but just that all she is

eyes followed her to the corner
and they see there's no reaction
why my tears fall for a foreigner
why do they now expect an action

Leave my eyes! leave that place
where she turned away from you
she is gone along with her grace
my heart sinks, it caught its flu

there is no medication, no cure
for the only medication is time
or it needs glimpse of you sure
or a gong from your wind chime

Ah! chime is still there on door
the one you brought long ago
it never plays nor you open door
I saw that close long long ago

walk back in time just once again
me to hold and never leave again
those memories, my thoughts train
they will freeze in time yet again

Mirrors dont lie

The oars are not moving
yet the mast flies high
on the boat of my body
my soul remains high
inundated with thoughts
of one I always adore
and my heart beats on
as my ship drifts ashore

I look inside each night
and see you there yet
I do not get to hold you
Wise say Mirrors don't lie
and yet to me they do
whenever I look in them
I see just you, no me
even when you are far

I thought, I had one life
but how wrong, have been
I live each night in dreams
die each day without you
how many more deaths
do i need to entail here
just to get to hold you
here in person, in this life

Love, memories are sweet
but I cannot just hug them
and cry for this pain, agony
on their shoulders again
I need you to move across
and call me from there
hold me with your hands
and hug me again closer

your presence

People see the sky above
I see it beneth your feets
and clouds bow down
when you decide to walk
trampling them under feet

your moment is celestial
even moon learns to walk
from the way you walk
and your dance is divine as
stars twinkle on its rhythm

you speak -flowers bloom
buds show their inner self
and that smile is whole
like a flower with all self
complete, unparalleled

your presence is a glow
that illuminates my world
self sustained like the sun
you light the dark in me
showing love to my heart

love and warmth

I walk with a kind heart(ed)
where there was no hatred
in spite of agony experienced
all it has - love and warmth

my emotions are a wilderness
her presence meandering river
yet I seek her in each gust of air
smell in every breath in here

While I carry with me my dark
she brings along her innocence
yet I seek her glorious presence
her embrace, her love and warmth

I remember her soul, her heart
and forget my own being here
what purpose is my being now
as soul resides somewhere else

My Love, she holds the heart
which houses my soul, life
it does not like any other, for
there it has - love and warmth

Am Nobody

I am nobody,
yet you call me a lover
my love exists in you
and without you
am not a lover
am a nobody

I am waiting
yet you call me impatient
my patience resides in you
and without you
am impatient
yet am waiting

I am here
yet you call me a traveller
my travels are in search of you
and without you
there is nowhere to go
am just here

I am just minerals
yet you call me alive
my live revolves around you
and without you
am not alive
Am just minerals

Love Sonnet

Love, we reached shores
saw waves reaching out
and decided to walk on
we stayed in each other
beyond countries we live in
we, separated by this land
united by the sky above

my hand searches for yours
to hold and walk the steps
that we walked together
my eyes trace those footsteps
which are now filled with water
ingrained in the sand there
the steps we took together

This sun sets again today
like it does on each of days
and yet it again hides ships
that are at the horizon now
for them to be never seen
wrecking them forever then
like it did to our hearts then

My searching eyes still wander
towards this horizon hoping
to see you rise from the wreck
from across the horizon back
or up from depths of the sea
and hold me once again
tracing those footsteps back

haven't seen you smile

Its raining and am drenched
but I haven't feel rain for ages
with loud cloud's thunder
I shriek and cry deep within
with every raindrop falling
my eyes let a drop roll down
you may see me smiling now
but I haven't smiled for ages
for I have not seen you smile
haven't seen you smile for ages

I seem free to move around
but am tied in chains for ages
I am not reluctant to come
but am stopped at every step
I look up to stars and moon
only for find clouds around
This night is dark and long
but the dark in me is endless
for I haven't seen my heart
haven't seen you smile for ages

New sun will rise, it will set
yet this dark will stay forever
breath needs to feel you once
but heart may not beat forever
my sun, my love is far away, yet
this horizon does not change 
my love you are reluctant lover
this distance will remain forever
my eyes are wandering for you
as haven't seen you smile for ages

my devotion

Why do you blame me
for not paying any obedience
why do you blame me
for not praying every day
How do you know
that I do not pray each moment
How do you know
that my lord is not happy with me
Why do you blame me
for just calling out love's name

I see that face each moment
and each glimpse in my eyes is a bead
with that I chant love's name
and that's my devotion above all chants
I have my own path
to my salvation, to my own god
you pray to be happy
and my happiness is with my love
you pray to attain heaven
when my heaven is with beloved
my beloved is my medium
and chanting love's name my devotion

i never stop you from praying
then why do you question my ways
let me make up with love
let me tread my own path to my god

language of heart

Who cares about words now
the hearts talk with each other
there are no words, no language
they speak in own sweet ways
holding on to each other always
even when do not see each other
each moment of time, each place
they are connected invisibly, always
through a thread that ties them
and it stretches beyond borders
but one pull and wounds bleed
heart is torn with just one pull

O love, come to me and heal
this bleeding red heart of mine
from my heart to your heart
across cities and many seas
where any word i say is heard
any word you say understood
irrespective of language used
cause though mine and yours
tongues are so different here
heart has language of its own
that our bodies do not care
only our souls understands

Earth's Lovers

The Earth goes through separation
each day with dawn and dusk
living through the joy and sorrow
to see sun, at night removing husk

but up in sky there's different world
there is no night for it to ever live
the sun is a companion always
its radiant light it always does give

At times it has some dark clouds
bursting water to pour somewhere
and we are waiting for the nectar
to drop here, to drop right here

As a drop touches this thirsty earth
a fragrance rises up from its breast
its pride, this sand all battered down
rain beats down thumping earths chest

O Lord, what lovers this earth has
one hides in day other sets at night
another beats down for a short while
when they meet, a rainbow, lovely sight

Sonnet of Love

I have loved you even before knowing you
in this life and many before this
I loved you for ever without seeing you
my memory did not have your face
but its desire of of you had no end
I searched for your being each moment
without ever knowing you
and yet I knew that I loved you

The instant we met first
I never realized it was you I love
and when you are far
I search in myself to remember you
and searching again for your eyes
trying to recollect your glance
between those little conversations
not knowing then that I loved you

May be i do not love you
but that may never be true
for there is only one love, you
and yet I do not hold you in arms
I let you go, encourage you to have wings
to a life you would love and cherish
and yet I am sad that you are away
love, i know I just love you

I have searched for you across
and tried to find resemblance
when I know there is no one like you
and yet I look up-to the moon
each night amongst the stars
hoping it had likeliness to your face
only to be disappointed it paled
far behind your glow

I know I had touched you
and since then that touch stays
in life where it was that day
my life has stopped since then
even though i seem alive
and breathing even now
but my life began and ended
at that very moment of time.

My heart has desire

My heart has desire
but then it lost love
when it found love
it was deep in heart
devoid of any wants
without any desire
of wanting you,
of being with you

My feelings glide
on carpet on moss
with you around
there are no walls
just long roads
to transcend far
holding your hand
once and forever

My nights pass
sleepless in eyes
for i cannot sleep
when you are awake
wide in my dreams
each time I close eyes
and yet I shy away
from moon and stars

My days are lonely
without you here
but am accompanied
by an image of yours
deep in my heart
and my soul traces
your foot steps always
trailing you, your shadow

Sea is rough

This Sea is rough for days
wave after wave is lashing
the sand is slipping out faster
than grains from hour glass
with ground under slipping
these are shaky grounds
that I stand on here now
on far shore away from you

Wind gushes through walls
tearing all that is to support
one breath after another
going through feeble lungs
as I grasp for my breath
of that little bit of air I need
with some fragrance of yours
am disappointed day after day

the sky is clouded for days
there is no light to see now
stars and moons are hidden
behind the white veiled clouds
there is darkness around
and deep in my heart here
my light, your eyes are away
and am destined for this dark

this heart sinks each day
when it does not find you
and your face every morning
for there is nothing better
than you for my own being
my soul that lives in you
craves for togetherness
of two bodies, one soul

boundaries

i catch a flight once in a while
and every time I look out
there are no boundaries there
there is either land or sea
an infinite expanse for us
waiting with open arms
but at the moment we land
we see boundaries here
people divided by land
but united by air and water

what if man had choice
even this air would be split
how do you get to breathe
when you are in my air
how did my air infringe
into the area of your air
like we have split rivers
seas, oceans and water
if only we could split
we would have marked
spaces even on sun

A man divides and then
heart unites against all odds
love transcends all boundaries
all languages spoken by man
for Love has its own language
unheard by many in this world
but heard only by those in love
you and I love, we are different
having different languages
different ways to our gods
but still we can have same love

Its sad that we have to be
always on these very pieces
where boundaries are visible
and we cannot walk past
its sad that we cannot be
living up on the clouds
where no one can yet see
any divisions on this land
any divisions on this sea
one wave after another
lashing my heart, love

myself without you

How to separate body from soul
How to separate waves from sea
these are one till they live, like wise
How to imagine myself without you

You are the universe that I know
that ever existed here for me ever
me being on this earth in this world
is dependent on your being here

I love your bright eyes and smile
just like a bud moves to bloom
all of it then has colors, fragrance
so does your smile its all that exists

your arms, way they held me once
no one ever can hold me like that
beloved, why then you stay so far
why then you deny love that exists

Today we are separated and far
across the vast expanse of ocean
lets make this long journey across
to find ourselves in each other

Love, Do not hurt yourself for me
you hurt me when you hurt yourself
don't hurt me for any wounds I have
will hit you, for you are always in heart

my soul is with your being always
and in me is nothing that can live
without you, I neither live or die
i can only die because of love

more of you

Trees are shedding their old leaves
for a new spring, to be green again
my life is shedding its old weights 
for more of you to keep living

My eyes are never tired of you
they look at your face for days
without bating eyelids even once
holding you in these two eyes

I cherish the moments when you
put your arms around my neck
and held me close to yourself
to let me wrap my arms on you

That moment is all that ever is
it makes me live even today
and I wait for your soft arms
to come, wrap around me again

I still feel that touch of yours on me
my chin resting on your shoulders
reassured that you are with me
in all ups and downs of life

I know you more than myself
I can detail your eyes, your face
better than my own little hand
I have your picture in me always

spring again

each day am away from you
I feel as if am torn to pieces
yet i pick my self each dawn
looking at sun thinking of you
bringing light to my lonely heart

Love, we lost this day and
then we lost this dusk too
it had all the colors to see
but none to feel without you
my hand was without yours

The night has fallen again
and with it come its blues
dark, its dark with no moon
yet I search for you again now
amidst the stars of universe

I am searching for your eyes
for their light to brighten path
and me to hold on to that love
that lives in your soul and heart
even when you are not with me

Who cares love thereafter then
my soul searches for your arms
for your love to save us from life
and to carry me across this life
unscathed in your lovely heart

Love you know what, I still do
hold you in my arms each night
in every dream of mine that i see
cause you guide me in dreams
and am lost in life, without you

Who says you cause this pain
you gave me the best moments
of life I have ever lived on earth
and now that you are far away
I still cannot let you go away

hold me beloved in your arms
and let me loose myself there
this bare autumn will end soon
there will be spring post winters
am waiting for that spring again

Bag of dreams

I carry with me, bag of dreams
sewed together bursting to be free
held by a small cord, tied in knot
with my hand holding one end
pulling cord slowly to unloose
and let the dreams come to life
that let me live this life of dreams
begining at dawn ending in twilight
in between those eyes and light
there is life with you, your love
and if this was the only life i had
I would live it before the end
fullest in your lovely light of day
under your sparkling pair of eyes
in shade of your hairs cool, calm
with my hands running in tresses
and your hand caressing my arm
waiting to be wound around neck
and then that tight hug of yours
holding me in that instant of time
when everything should have stopped
this time, earth, wind and my breath
but then my grip loosened there
and time moved and so did we
waiting for another dream to come
between another dawn and twilight
holding each others hand in hand
and getting back in that embrace
all over again, once again to live
to live and to love you forever

heart is poor

Love, why you stay away
my body does not sway
patience is running out
as each day I peep out
of these doors and windows
only to see empty meadows
with no passing no sight
there is only dark no light

beloved, my heart is poor
and it waits for its doer
only you have treasures
for its riches and pleasures
don't hide your lovely face
in this lonely dark place
only it is has a radiant light
for us to see this sight

Lily I have held you close
akin to solitary red rose
emitting color, fragrance
correcting hearts imbalance
in this lonely heart of mine
beyond the cycles of time
with you there is no thorn
love's reborn, love is reborn

beloved hold me close
love, hand me my dose
this illness of mine needs
and only your heart heeds
O world why do you flock
and these tongues do talk
tell them I know my beloved
I know beloved, I know beloved

a conversation

"Why do you stay away?", I asked
"because I am not you", she said
"aren't we bound to be different?", I asked
"yes, but we have no similarity", she said
"won't life be boring like that?" I asked
"no, then we can do similar things" she said
"but can't we can do new things?" I asked
"yes, but we may not like them", she said
"without even trying out?", I asked
"well it will be bad to leave midway" she said
"why will we leave midway?, I asked
"well am not sure", she said
"can you hold my hand?", I asked
"you don't know my past", she said
"I never asked about past, did I", I asked
"yes, but the past is important", she said
"Its about future, cant we forget past?", I asked
"well I have a lot of dark there" she said
"I see light of your heart, why worry?", I asked
"there are wounds and scars on me", she said
"these are my pain, why do you seethe?" I asked
"you just do not understand", she said
"I know your heart, why need anything else", I asked
"you deserve better than this", she said
"why this? nothing is beautiful than your heart" I asked
"Ah!!" she sighed, "understand please", she said
"what is needed to understand your heart?", i asked
she cried, "my scars would not go", she said
"then can you help me with my pain?" I asked
then she just hugged me and did not say anything

wounded heart

Carrying a wounded heart
I have traveled so far
searching for your being
and carrying me with you
there is dark inside my chest
in spite of cracks and wounds
sun, moon's light does not enter
I need your light to see
and go through the cracks
deep in my wounds
and lighten by world

my hands,flesh all else
may not remember the feel
but how can my heart forget
for no one else that has
gift of life that you bring
hidden in your smile and
there is tremendous lava
inside me waiting to explode
and it waits there simmering
just to see you again

This void I live in today
without you, your presence
is like an old fort abandoned
where no one has lived
for ages that have gone
doors have crumpled
windows gone long ago
there are a few dried leaves
along with dirt from
those footprints left
in an old old bygone era

Love, your suffering
is mine, now, forever
and the joys I have in life
are only due to your being
in life I cannot forget you
and when you hear otherwise
do not believe else or me
I cannot think of an existence
devoid of your thoughts
and yet be alive in this world
now or tomorrow or thereafter

This dark that I have in me
this pain of wounds that I carry
are growing with time without
your existence here with me
these waves that wash up
to me one after another
carry fragrance from  river
that flows in your land
and yet they do not carry
my message back to you

love, for me you are with me
as if no one else exits here
and even in your absence
I see you in all mirrors
so i stopped looking
at myself in the mirror
and went to the water
to see my face there
and will I see there is
your face in each ripple
that comes in that water

I do not look for me anymore
I just search your presence
tracing your lovely fragrance
back across the seas and lands
and yet you are elusive
your land seems far, very far
across the desert and rivers
and yet my heart feels you
deep within its existence
and your void as a wound
that needs you to heal

illusion

I nursed this thought
of love, yours and mine
had got this idea bought
day after day, across time

though you were far away
heart carried this illusion
you hold me and my sway
mind was in a state - delusion

and now you are back
holding your own fort here
you paint a picture black
and say it is nothing there

I loose the thread of hope
the little illusion I always had
myth is broken,  secret ope
as if hammered by brad

how do I sew this illusion again
how I tell self, you may love again
what I see is a bad dream again
how do i believe in illusion again

journey

This earth,
that we tread
you and I
on a journey
across  lands
and seas
with hope
that you hold
my hand
even when
am alone, my
hope holds
you in heart
always

this earth
though big is
not big enough
to keep our
hearts from
being together
you and I speak
different languages
and you and I
may not speak
yet these hearts
know a hundred
ways to converse

Love
each journey
I make now
away from you
is still with you
in me my heart
my heart converses
with yours
even when its
miles away
starring at you
across the horizon
hoping to catch
a glimpse

love, do not 
hurt yourself
for this distance
for you hurt me
do not hurt me
for my soul
resides in you
and this house
that you have
is better than
any in this
universe

Beloved,
this journey
of our hearts
is meaningless
without togetherness
and yet across
this trembling
moments of time
we are separated
by land and seas

Love,
hold me when
I start a journey
not to travel
away from you
for your being
is bliss
for my being

Love, come
make a journey
from you to me
straight from
heart to heart
for us to live
on this earth
now and
forever

A step in
this journey
without you
is painful
come hold
my hands
so that we cross
all hurdles
looking at
each other
in the eyes

mirror

I am here for you
to do what you need
and act as yourself
to please me when
you are not here
and yet you think
am different
am another being
when every thing I hold
is inside you
for its your heart
that carries my soul

love, why do you cry
why do you hold
burden of pain, sorrow
come here in my chest
make a grave yard
where your sorrows rest
come let the tears
fall one last time
on my shoulders
never to fall again

look into my eyes
and you do not need
another mirror
for my face and eyes
are a reflection
of you and your being
they are angry
when you are angry
they are sad
when you are sad
and they are happy
when you happy
but one thing is
they are always
in love with you
always - infinite.