she is gone

Each day and each night
I long for her, all over again
visiting memories of time
spent with her, all alone
when even my demons knew
her and all the world she is
and all that I could care about
was just being with her

she met when i was broken
to hold me, hug me tight as if
trying to get all my pieces
back where they belong
heal my heart which pained
soothe beats, ease breath
and show me what is life
all about, all over again

she was like no other friend
but she is gone, leaving void
which is not empty nor full
leaving the lingering pain there
she is far, distant and yet in heart
but the cure my heart needs
the cure for its pain, is gone
and I bear its agony, pain

how do I expect

how do i expect
you to be with me
when I cannot hold
nor cajole you now
or when you need
when I am away
at hour of need
through your pain
through your agony
and show up only
when things are good
or when I need you

how do I expect
you to love me back
when I love you
but can never confess
nor I can express
this love to you
how do i expect
you to know I care
that its only you
that I live for now
and one who lives
in my heart in all beats
for my selfish reasons

how do I expect, love,
you to be equal partner
in my crime of love
in my  agony, pain
when I just refuse to
hold your hand and
hug you back each time
you have hugged me
when I refuse to kiss you
and refuse to caress tress
that flow with every nod
that you do to say yes.

better than dreams

Each night a dream,
of me and you together
each night a thought
of life lived together

On the shores of time
with waves each moment
of time we are to cherish
we together that moment

with drops of dew on grass
and that shine on green leaf
ah my world in that dew drop
and my story turns a leaf

holding freshness in  hands
caressing your tress now
in light of this new dawn
in light of your face now

what life, love, what life
I live with you in dreams
what life, love, what life
you and I,  better than dreams

waiting for you

My soul is waiting for you
to call me once, call me again
for it to feel your radiant love
for it to be felt wanted, love

My earthly body, my veins have
just your essence flowing through
and that keeps me alive even
when you are not here with me

My heart often skips few beats
whenever it has a thought of you
am not sure how am still alive, as
there is no moment without you

My love, you who is fragrant bud
how can soul survive any longer
without your lingering fragrance
without you being here with me

My hope, my aspiration, love
is to just live this life, once
have my soul thirst quenched
and be with you my love

My love, there is nothing else
that my soul wants or needs
nothing more it asks, but yes
my soul is still waiting for you

I have not said this to you

O Love, I have not said this to you
the more am far, more I love you
with each passing moment of life
with each passing day am away
I know am losing my life, here
am losing love, living with you

On the shore, across the oceans
you will see me on the other shore
looking just at your lovely face
as if holding your face in my hands
and kissing you from this shore
am feeling you right from here

my hands still have your skin's feel
and my senses feel you right here
siting here, and looking right at me
holding my hand walking along
with waves washing over the feet
and then touching mine just there

these feelings are mine each night
each night am unable to sleep, for
no dream was every better than this
no dream can ever be better than this
me and you together on the shore
me and you holding each other hands

O Love,  I have not said this to you
but this reality is better than dreams
O Love, I have not said this to you
but the moment of I and you together
moment of silence of us alone together
is better than my entire life, lived yet

Treasure in Ruins

I have been visiting ruins
searching for treasures there
buried deep somewhere
down in heart of the place
not knowing what ruins have
is just left overs from glory days
when all that is life is taken
when all that is love, forgotten

My heart today is in ruins
broke, empty and painful
yet I don't seek its treasures
I don't look at it any more
for all that was worth it
is far removed from it
all the fortune it had is gone
all those it housed gone

There is no love in it now
my love, you see its all broke
am without any treasure now
it has nothing but vast emptiness
it houses agony, pain of separation
without you, its in shambles, ruins
and still people say the same thing
there are always treasure in ruins

This love is no more

Am here, silent as a stone

without saying a word

without hearing a word

from the one i love

may its still there, may be

this love is no more

 I try to call you once more

I try to reach out to you

I try to love you all over again

to have another breath, together

that meeting of our lips

may be I just wanted a kiss

I wanted to live with you forever

I wanted our moments to stay

I wanted that immortality

with you, not alone this life

endless, you and I together, alone

may be i just wanted you

Dont know, how am still breathing

dont know how heart is still beating

Ah! my love, you are no longer here

Love, how do I say it here now

that you no longer love me, or

may you love and I don't see it

I see you

I see you, each moment

walking with you now

deep inside my heart

On the cloud of joy

in the moment we two are alone

I have not thought about leaving

but then we are not there anymore

separation is today, now, here

and I long to see you again

I long to be with you

want to go back in time

walk the same roads,

be on the same paths

whether you love me or not

i still want to be there again, with you

For, of all i have ever done

I know i have loved you

beyond the limits of time

even before i dawned on earth

I have loved you from deep within

I have loved you from my soul

My mind, my thoughts

My mind, my thoughts
are all but occupied with you
An occupation i cherish
with each breath of mine

Girl tell me a way
to take steps back in time
to turn clock back
to those lovely days

Time when you and I
walked together secret road
of our hearts, of love
unheard, unseen forbidden

The only touch I recollect
is the feeling of your skin
only thing I remember
is your breath on my lips

Girl, I stand alive when
your heart is close to mine
holding me firmly here
to my roots, you love

I love her for

I love her,
for all that she is
and all that she is not

I love her as the earth
loves the sun, its life
awaiting its each dawn
to let its darkness pass
then embrace light, life
that beloved brings with it

I love her as a dew drop
holding on to the leaf
on which it was formed
hiding in darkest places
for it not to be taken
by the light - sun's rays

I love her as a child
who knows no other being
in this melee, crowd of people,
as someone who holds my hand
who holds me in her embrace
communicating heart to heart

I love her as a celestial lover
where the adobe of my heart
holds only her in its embrace
the window of my soul knowns
just that image, that face
alive with each beat of heart

you are far

My Beloved, You are far
in a distant land, across seas
where i cannot reach you
where I cannot see you
except through my memories
and those likeliness of yours
which I carry around
hidden, deep in my heart

Distant love, you are far
had you been annoyed
or even angry with me
I could make up with you
but how do i cover this
long distance, across countries
created by another human
as wedges between hearts

Resident of heart, you are far
how do i overcome barriers
human created, in name of peace
dividing lovers and friends
every time i stare across the line
I see, feel you standing there,
may be its an illusion,my love
but I can hold you no more

No one else

from the time we left shores
i have searched for you
beyond heart, in this land
and far on the crest of waves
beyond the dunes of sand
and upon the snow hills
but you are elusive to me
but not to my heart, love

Am a wanderer a, traveler
looking for your adobe
the place you walk home
the water that you cross
I still remember your feet
way they waded in water
shy fishes gave them way
for they had their own grace

Am still chasing you, love
the way I had followed you
that day, that moon light night, 
like the stars chasing moon
I see you across the shore
or is it my heart seeing you
making me believe is you
its no one else but you

Love, for i don't know now
whether I love you more
or I dont love you like before
and love you more than ever
for there can be no one else
this heart can ever shelter
no one else that my eyes seek
no one else my love, no one

how else do I confess

how else do I confess

that I can no longer love you

though am living, but am not alive

because i am no longer with you

how else do I confess

that I have loved you

more than anything known

beyond how words can express you

how else do I confess

that I am spellbound by you

not by your lovely face or body

but by pilgrim soul that resides in you

how else do I confess

that i crave for a word from you

not something that life would want

just those sweet nothings from you

how else do I confess

that i long to get a look of you

to walk that road once again

and to just keep looking at you

how else do I confess

that i have lost my senses in you

there is nothing else that i can see

nothing else i can feel but you

how else do I confess

that my nights are sleepless because of you

they have been replaced by dreams

dreams of me and you

how else do I confess

that I am in love with you 

and all I do is clouded

by my vision of you

Am the river

Am the river, wandering
am the one seeking you
looking for a path to you
am the river seeking you

across these meadows
through the hills and plains
through good-bad moments
am the river seeking you

at times dry with heat
at times flush with rain
at times sourced by snow
am the river seeking you

the sight of you brings joy
even though am going to seize
when I would no longer be I
Still am the river, seeking you

my desire of you is infinite
for there is nothing else that seeks
the way i seek you my love
am like the river, seeking sea

Am the river seeking you
seeking pleasure of you receiving
seeking the moment when I seize
I am seeking the joy of being you

I will meet you there

where the heart skips a beat
years just pass as moments
there is passage between hearts
my dear, I will meet you there

where the birds start to chirp
and the bees start to hmm
rains release earthly aroma
my heart, I will meet you there

where there is no seperation
neither there are any people
its just me and you, alone
my love, i will meet you there

where days are not days
and nights are not nights
just moments you and i share
my dove, i will meet you there

where there exists no hell
and there is just one heaven
in the embrace of your arms
my lord, i will meet you there

My life is fragrant

my life is fragrant
with your aroma
that stems through me
and the path that you walked
its like a flowered garden
at height of spring
and the picturesque beauty
its like cherry blossom
and sitting under the tree
i see you moving
as wind caressing trees
the swift glide of air
and this grass bending
as you lean in to me
and give a whiff, kiss
this world begins to fade
my vision gets clouded
it does not see or sense
except that air from
your lungs on me
trying to gain conscious
barely able to sit
am lost in ecstacy
as a kid in its first rain
am drenched with love
wet all inside of me
as your lips move back
I yearn for more

Even when we are

Even when we are far apart

separated by land and seas

love, am still there for you

in each moment by your side

if only you could lift your eyes

and see across the sea and land

the next image you would find

is my soul there by your side

I have been there with you, 

washing up to your feets

as each wave of the sea

washes land for the moment it live

so do I, sustain my life, love,

from those moments with you

there is no other sun to brighten

my life than your mere being

no other moon to accompany

me during those long nights

I lie each moon less night

looking up these numerous stars

wondering where do you hide

so long away from my sight

that its difficult for me to live

those dark night, as if alone

without shade of your love, love

without your being here

I gave you my being, my soul

now am devoid of all means

to live, survive in my senses, for

without you they have no meaning

Am happy being in this state insane

for what does world know this bliss

those who have never lost their sanity

can never understand this feeling love

On a night like this

Not long ago, on a night like this

you hugged me, to let me go

and we separated, to lands far away

but the stars, the nights, that were there

still remain, the way they were

longing for that embrace, again

Still hear the sound of that night

still feel the embrace of your hands

tight hold of your arms around me

as the bud covers all its petals

with colors and fragrance hidden

and then in a moment we separated

but  in that moment we were together

i carried with me your essence, aroma

that still keeps my days fragrant

that keeps my heart beating

but then with each day, I long

for your embrace again, my love

to hear the sound of that night

that glitter of stars all over again

because that sound is familier

it comes with your essence, presence

this night, these stars of the sky here

though may look the same as then

but they do not have the same 

life as they had with you around

O love, beloved, you may not know

but I have lived so far just hoping

to meet you and hold you once again

never to let you go, anywhere far

hold you again but this time forever

on a night like this, forever