Am blinded

Am blinded by your radiance
cause whenever I see you
I see a human form that is
made from nothing but light

i see my dark drawn towards
the fire that forms your body
and bright light that it holds
deep within as its holy soul

I have no desire beyond this
that burns with your body
for I have no life without soul
that is not with me any more

Love, my life, soul lives in you
why then you deny my burning
I travel to seek my own soul
but you deny me my own being

I just follow fragrance of house
that has let me soul live so long
I seek to find its windows here
and yet all I see walls around

Why love, why are you so shy
to come and embrace me again
my arms know your feel well
they do not want to feel another

Why love, why you carry burden
of this shyness with you forever
when I am and you know now
shyness is not gonna sustain forever

drop veils of inhibition that you build
and let me seek myself in your soul
for there is nothing that lives in here
except withered yellow leaves on floor

The trees have long dried barren
rustic leaves are scattered on road
for you and I to walk on them again
in hope that it will be spring again

I know the garden would be green
no one can stop the spring to come
but what use is a spring that blooms
without its most precisous flower in it

I have seen Sakura once, just once
and now I want more of it for me
for am not satisfied with one glimpse
my love needs all of Sakura for me

Not just for this season or next
nor for this decade or there after
I need this for myself from now on
till eternity, beyond death, thereafter

For I know the fire that makes you
would never be extinguished in me
it will change forms from one to another
but will continue to house my soul, me

I may change from a thorn to vase
but in each case rose would be there
for thorn no existence without rose
neither the vase without its eternal flower

likeliness

Am told city is magnificent, beautiful
but how could that be without you
the streets are crowded, yet lonely
they have not seen your feet, you

The gardens has color, fragrance
but it misses most precious flower
when clouds are dark, i look up
the dark is sad, doesn't shower

The dark too seems to seek you
the likeliness it finds in no one
my dark may fought many battles
but without you it has none won

Love, I have searched the city
but no one had likeness to you
I went from door to door seeking
a likeliness, knowing it was you

How could have I found someone
when no one else can have the soul
the world may have many faces
but seeking you never took a toll

they told me that faces are beautiful
when nothing even compares to you
how else do I seek you love, tell me
no other way I know to reach you

seeker

Love,
I have been seeking
you
with both my eyes
knowing fully well
that you do not dwell
in this town or city
yet my eyes
do not listen
to me
they look
for your likeliness
in all beings
in each door
and each window
peeping to find
a soul that resembles
your being
but they are oblivious
to the fact that
you reside
in my heart
always
that they need not
look outwards
to find you my love
all they need to do
is shut themselves
and seek you inwards
to seek solace
in your image
that resides in heart
until
my wandering soul
again finds you
in this earth
in this life or
in next lifes to come
for the sole purpose
of my being
on this earth
is to seek you

Secrets of night

As the sun used to set on day
I waited with baited breath
for the night to come to me
and reveal its secrets of dark
yet the night saw me waiting
passed by without a word
with me seeing it with eyes
shutting my lids only at dawn
and then one fine morning
you came along, from blue
unheard, unseen line no one
who sat with me for a moment
in that moment day and night
stopped to let me know
what is secret of light dark
and i knew in that moment
my dark that lives in heart
is illuminated by your love
Beloved, yet you stayed
here only for that moment
and now I know the secret
but you again stay away far
where even when I call
my voice does not reach
yet I call out to you at dusk
hoping to live by the night
I call out to you at dawn
hoping to see through day
knowing fully well that
you are far and distant
my voice does not reach
yet again I beg of night
whose secrets is revealed
only through your presence
to carry my voice in its silence
to you and convey to you
that beloved am waiting
yet again for you to come
hear secrets of each night
together beloved, you and I

being you

I look at the night
 and question
where it hides you,
amidst its darkness
for this moon is bright
cause it reflects your face
and the constellations
take shape due to you
they align to your artistry
yet you are nowhere
to be seen or heard
and this cruel night 
remains silent like ever
even when it knows
each moment I seek you
and it enjoys my agony
my wandering, search
for my soul, my life
that is not with me
and yet I live here
only to meet with you
Love, see there is nothing
else that keeps me alive
yet even if I were to die
without meeting you
I would be born again
to seek you for me
in life one after another
till I am with you
though I was never away
as my soul rests with you
but how does a man
ever live without a soul
this longing would make
me to be born again
until I end up being you

its shame

You are sad, its a shame
how can you be sad here
on this earth, in this life here
where you bear all this life
you breathe, breeze flows
at your glance waves dance
at your insistence soul seeks
and my body fills with my soul
which is no one but just you
that is why soul fills all of me
i am filled with my soul and yet
I can not have enough of it
for how can fish have enough
of this river, this ocean this water
am may be just a drop in here
as one who's soul you fill
yet when I merge with you
me as a drop merges with ocean
am no one then, just you
beloved see am seeking you
at an expense of loosing me
yet you are sad, its a shame
that you let the world bog you
when you hold eternity in you
from my life in yours and to
owning every breath of it
you are the one who commands
me through the heart to love
and yet you come and ask
me what is this love, this bond
and you remain sad, its a shame
beloved look, come behold here
for there is nothing in me
that is not you, that is not you

Love Sonnet (I have forgotten the number)

i loved you, then
I longed for you
as the sand beneath
my feet starts to slip
I again long for your 
tender little hand
to hold me here
along with you and
not let me slip away

I loved you, then
I dreamed about you
each night of mine
I spent far being
away from you
my dreams with
eyes open or close
had just you in them
that's why I dreamed
to see you and behold
the fading image
in my heart forever

I loved you then
I adore you now
for the strength that
you carry in you
to overcome all
odds that pull you
try to pin you
and yet you fight
to overcome them
with inner resolve
stronger than any
yet you retain
your innocence
your tenderness

I loved you then
and I love you now
and seek to take
away the sorrows
that plague you
your life today
and at each dusk
so that you sleep
peacefully with dreams
of life and sea
of greens and sun
of moon lit nights
and sounds of life

I loved you then
and I love you now

I dream

I dream the freshness
that your air brings
and the lovely song
that your river sings
the fragrance of earth
at your door windows
and the springs color
across earth's meadows

I breathe in an essence
there with your presence
i still live on here now
in spite of heart's absence
for it resides in its house
somewhere in your heart
in a small corner it found
coming alive with your heart

I dream heaven on earth
that comes with you
holding my waving feet
when I walk with youI dream the tenderness
of life your heart brings
this lovely moments in
life that presence brings

like always...like never before

This air, this sea,
these roaring waves
all have changed and
so has the season
day, week and month
and so has my love
which stays with you
even when it does not
see or feel you here, hence
I love you like always
I love you like never before

I long for your touch
for a word of yours
a fleeting glance
and the glow of
your rainbow
that is scattered
each time you smile
and now I wait for it
to see and in this waiting
I love you like always
I love you like never before

In each dawn that breaks
and each fresh gust of air
that comes with it
leaving the stars behind
riding on crest of clouds
that have waited for
this dark night to get over
and seek the sun again
over an horizon
which has changed
since you and I met
yet I continue to seek you
over the same horizon
each dawn at a time
and i still love you
in-spite of this absence
your presence is felt
deep in me and hence
I love you like always
I love you like never before

I am the one

I am the one that
begs of the sun
to let me hide in
its first of the rays
that pierces your
houses window
each new morning
on your lovely face

I am the one who
asks the clouds
to carry me with
other drops of
before it rains
and let me be the
first drop to fall
and splash on you

I am the one who
begged of the dawn
to be in its colors
for you to come
and let me witness
the freshness of
each new morning
like no one has

I am the one that
asks of the grass
to let me rest on
its tender twigs
as tiny drop if dew
and feel your feet
when you walk on me
taking me along

I am the one who
asks for the dusk
to be the last ray
falling on your door
before you wind up
leaving the horizon
with you watching
as this night falls

I am that one that
begs of the sky
to let me be the
first star of night
that rains on your
houses roof each
and every night
before you sleep

I am the one who
begs of unconscious
to let me be a thought
somewhere in dreams
that you live through
in your own sleep
peacefully each night
owning your nightmares

my mirror

whenever I do look
at my own mirror
I see a beautiful face
and this is not me
for my mirror never
showed me this way
but now it has one
who is unparalleled
beyond any words
and glows in my face
in my own mirror
and then I realize
this is since time
I met you in here
and this mirror
no longer shows
me to my own self
but it shows you
whenever i look
at my own mirror
I see an image
that is you, your face
and my eyes stuck
with bewilderment
as to how the mirror
could have lied
and then I realize
it does not, but
it no longer shows
me my physical self
but the soul the lives
deep in me as one

Shadow

I was troubled by my shadow
for it did not ever leave
me for a moment of solitude
and when I confronted
it said, cause am you
cause you exist I exist
it Said "cause i love you"
"my love is unconditional"
and I laughed it off then
as an argument of a pest
who did not want to leave

and yet now when I realize
after knowing you this while
that how much ever I love you
I can only ape that shadow
but never greater than that
for it will go with us in life
and be blended with us
even after that in death
It does not leave us on earth
never ever alone here
even when our hearts bleading
it is silent to feelings
and yet stays with us
in all our good and bad

we have lived

Love, We have lived
so far in the tenderness
of this cool wind
breeze after breeze
floating in fresh air
like a smooth feather
without any wings
hoping that our love
carries us all the way
through this starry night
and across the depths
of dark blue ocean
and endless lands
meadows and gardens
into the arms of each other

Love, we have felt
thus far a current of emotion
of this turbulent ocean
wave after wave
dancing on calm water
without any sails
hoping that our eyes
caresses each others
emotions bustling at shores
of life that does bring
a new dawn to me
each morning with
your lovely glowing face.

just when

Just when I took a step
to move closer to you
I realize i have just passed
the point where you were
to sudden trace my feet
and realize that all along
I have been running
this far in a circle and
am still stuck at the place
where I had once begun

Just when I pick a brush
and dip it into a color
i realize that the color
I have is no different
than the color on wall
that I have been painting
the wall over and over again
in the same color without
every creating a picture
except last few strokes
of brush that remain visible

Just when I feel this breeze
of a joyous spring unfold
I open my eyes to see
withered leaves around me
realize that spring is still far
I have been in an autumn
imagining the long winter
is gone to let sun shine
once again on our garden
and make this garden bloom
with me and you in it
amongst the fragrance
of these colored flowers

dawn to dusk

As soon as the day breaks
I see a riot of colors
before first rays of sun
the dawn shows it magic
with each spot changing
colors at every moment
and then the day breaks

The sun then shines bright
concealing all colors in it
but letting us see varied hues
in the land that we walk
from one end to another
the sand, the water all
change colors at each step
and then sun begins to fade

Yet again the riot breaks
colors compete each other
showing the magic possessed
the dusk's shadow on the sea
with same colors as above
for one last time in the day
before walking away again

Its dark, pitch dark now
the night still has the moon
and the stars with little light
for earth to find its way
across the dark universe
amidst ways that crisscross
various large fields of stars
and planets that move
from one place to another
without a known destination
holding on to the hope
that colors will come again
soon before another dawn
is about to break yet again

horizon

Beyond the shores of land
and up till my vision sees
I seek you in all, all across
its because of your absence
that the horizon exists here
and I look at it endlessly
waiting for you to come
once from that shore to
this land, across seas
and on the saddle of
this breeze on this wind
to this land where I wait
endlessly, seeking you
in each breath of mine
in each bread that i break
and each bite I swallow
tastelessly stuffed down my
dry, wanting, calling throat
to hope to live till the day
I get to see you again
in the same arms of mine
which held you once here
holding those little hands
possessing my big dreams
of life and Love, on this earth
Love, I have longed for you
seeking you in each movement
of a wave on the wings of wind
holding me here at this shore
still looking at that horizon

For Years

For years I have waited
to catch a glimpse of you
and yet when I am about to
the world begins to fade
and the sea that has been
calm all along with patience
brims with restlessness
rocking the ships that head
from the horizon to the shore
and my wait for you grows

For years I have loved
the essence that the wind
carried from across that seas
from an unseen distant land
emerging from the small
windows of your house
on to those blessed streets
blending with the fragrance
from that mystic city of yours
all the way this hollow ocean

For years I have dived
in the depth of your lovely
eyes that carry with them
the depths of innocence
and with them the hidden
pain of unseen wounds
inflicted by this world
unwarranted yet real
but still you preserved
your innocence in them

For years I have hoped
to live with that innocence
in company of numerous
long curled tresses flowing
with wind that comes here
and yet hiding the sun
and also this moon light
to come and be with me
my being in your presence
when there is nothing else

For years I have lived
hoping as an peacock
ready with colored wings
spread to dance again
at the sight of those clouds
before they begin to pour
on this dry thirsty land
and again have that fragrance
that has waited for years
that has waited for years.

तन्हाई

एक आरज़ू थी कि कभी तो वो हाथ मिले,

हम हाथ बड़ाए खड़े रहे, बिन मौसम फुहार मिले 

तंग दिल में कम न था आंसुओं का खजाना 

एक निकले और उसे दुसरे का साथ मिले

कितना दबाऊँ में इस उफान को और मुझमें 

इस नज़र को अब हर जगह तू ही तू दिखे

अब बहुत जी लिया यहाँ मेंने तेरे बगेर 

हर शाम मेरे साथ बस मेरी तन्हाई दिखे

ना कर तू और कोई भी कर्म मेरे लिए

कहीं ऐसा ना हो उस पार तेरी कमी लगे

किस आहट किस उम्मीद पे मैं जिन्दा हूँ 

हर उम्मीद आखिर में एक मृगतृष्णा लगे

कब तक सांस चलेगी एक मृगतृष्णा भरोसे 

तेरे बगेर तो यह सांस भी दुश्वार लगे

how do I know

How do I know
what is beauty
for I have never
looked at anyone
except your face

how do I know
what is darkness
I have had glimpse
of your radiance
hence i see nothing

how do I know
what is called light
for i dream and
long for you long
terse to give shade

how do I know
what is hatred
as there is not
enough time
to hate anyone

how do I know
what is called love
for I have no one
except you that
I have ever known

how do I know
how, where you are
for I have met you
only once before
and i seek ever since

moving afar

the day we were moving afar
I never had expected you
to turn back and look again
but still my heart longs for you
and whenever I see the sea
I remember the depth in you
in those eyes which were calm
but hid the deep pain in you
I want to be at the same place
that is alive because of you
and inhale that lovely fresh air
carrying fragrance from you
but how do I ask the sun
with all its light that's you
to shower all its brightness
on me, when I know you
as the nymph I have seen
and that image in eyes, you
how do i let that image afar
even if I am separated from you
i have,  in my heart in soul
and deep in my veins - you
even if you remain indifferent,
far, my heart will beat for you