absence

Nothing, Nothing else Love
can fill in the void that exists
because of your absence
from here, from my breath
for there is this cold touch
this feeling of life gone by
which exists today in me
just due to your absence
for all else in life I carry with me
except only your presence,
and that gives me cold of death
hence I stay here waiting
like an empty house, of bricks
waiting for it's occupants
to live in and be alive again
waiting as an old forgotten city
which desires to rereclaim it's glory
where treasures are hidden
deep somewhere in those ruins
which only you can mine
I wait for you as the peacock
which longs for the rain and
dances in anticipation as it sees
a dark patch of water cloud
I sit on a branch of tree high
looking for a sign as a cuckoo
to see your shadows in clouds
and sit up and sing again
Love, I seethe in this agony
in this long absence of yours
with a hope to find you again
in life here and in next.

Hollowness

Hollowness is just your absence
of you not being here with me
now in this instance, this place
where I seek to find you in
in these unknown streets
and doors and windows
which do not bear any name
neither do the houses say
where you lived once or
where you will come to live
yet I wander in here, seeking

I wander as a lost soul
who has not known this place
not seen these streets, these
corners of the town you live
only to try and find you
and humming songs with
each of my own lost steps
just like it has been for years
only to seek  you, find you
and embrace you again
in my arms, with my heart

Embrace you in those arms
which have now forgetten
your being, your feeling in them
with my heart, that just beats
without recognizing your
once musical rhythms in it
I want to hold you in arms
again, never to let you go
fill the hollowness in me
and fill the hollowness in you
in our souls that have lived
torn, so far apart, in hollowness
without each other, without love.

A question

A Questions keeps annoying me
for there are no answers I have
Do I live in waiting for fragrance
or is this a passing phase I have

Is this wait ever going to end
and ends after a blip in time
or do I have to sustain this pain
without love, continue to whine

But how do I know what's love
for I do not recognize its existence
or is it  my imagination here that
refuse to acknowledge it's persistence

Tell me, where does love exist
if at all present on this earth
or is it so universal that here
am fool to seek, as such from birth

Does love exist in sun at horizon
when it fills it with colors of dawn
or does it remain with the sky
long after the day is gone

Does love exist in the flower
long before it's bud is born
or is it carried in the petals
long after it's withered torn

Does love exist in the fragrance
of the rose or in its thorn
cause I have never seen a rose
without fragrance or thorn

Does love exist in river that flows
or the vast ocean that embraces
or is it that book of them seek
each other, but river just traces

Does love exist in drop or rain
or it is in longing of dry sand
which is thirsty and waits endlessly
for each drop or rain to land

Or Is it that the water seeks
its own land and so does sand
yet its my mind that sees
only rain drop racing to land

Is it because ocean and land
are tied by universe to stand
but both the lover and loved
seek each other all across land

Does love exist only on earth
or is the universe is also in love
I do not see beyond the moon
beyond that stars to see a dove

Do Doves fly beyond this sky
reach the gates beyond sight
I wish I could see all this
riding on my beloved's light

Love Sonet ...

Love is a borrowing of tears
that fill an ocean of life
from one breath to another
from one to another life

Love is like a drop of dew
appearing on morning flower
holding in it the entire universe
and only stays till next shower

Love is like stars and moon
that appear together in dark sky
to shine till the first ray of sun
then disappear in same sky

Love is blooming of a garden
even when leaves fall in autumn
Love is to carry that fragrance
till spring arrives from autumn

May be love is just passing
of bones from life to another
that comes for an instant here
and moves on to another

But then world here itself
exists for a moment or two
but in that moment it lets two
hearts beat as one not two

My love lives feeding on hope
to feel your breath on me again
like passing winds from oceans
carrying your fragrance again

As I move about in life here
I fear of leaving my life behind
only to realize I have lost you
world has not been that kind

For me its just agony of heart
that I feel being away from you
and you still live far and away
unaware that I only long for you

eyes to blink

my eyes carry a pain
for they need to blink
but desire of your face
does not let them close
for what if you were
to come for an instant
and I would lose you
in that one off blink
I would then never ever
forgive myself for not
having seen you again

I live each day, here
hoping for that glimpse
with each passing day
my hope turns into
an act of despair for
you do not come and
when I turn around at
noise of any foot steps
hoping that its you
I see faces I do not know
faces the world may like
but for me that face is
not the one am waiting
for that face is not yours

A seek to see your face
without worries or fear
without pain or anguish
smiling and happy as it can
for there is no pain of yours
that I cannot take away
only if you are willing
to let it go and let me
carry it with me far away
and even when you are
there with me , O beloved
that pain will remain far
far far away from you
so that your face retains
its innocence that it had
on the day I saw you

Am afraid my love
to say anything to you
for am afraid that my act
may unknowingly hurt
you and make you sad
make you feel bad
and steal away a bit
of innocence from
your glowing bright face
Am afraid of myself
and hence I do not
say a word to you
yet I desire your face
desire a glance of you
for me to live, for my
eyes to blink and rest.

different beings

Yesterday, when we met
we were different
it was then I loved you
today when we met
we will be different
and love for you remains
tonight we will sleep
to wake up tomorrow
as different beings
yet I know this much
that my love will remain
irrespective of my life
or my being dead
my desire for you
remains extinguished
it burns in me deep
since it transfered to me
after I saw your heart
and the fire that it carried
ignited me like dry leaves
now I burn each moment
waiting for you to come
bringing your tenderness
only that can now contain
this raging fire that burns me
Love, there is no one
no one else that lets
this desire breathe
in my heart in soul
and yet you watch me
from a distance burning
unwilling to come over
here and extinguish it.
Love, how else do I live
without your presence
for the fragrance lasts
till the rose is near
till shadow of rose remains
else numerous thorns exist
that remain on the branch
but never close to rose
to carry its essence with them
Love, I do not live anymore
I die each moment
to be born again and again
in each breath I recollect
the vague memories of you
that fade with each
passing  minute without you
only to be refreshed
with your tenderness
that lives in my dreams
waiting for you to come
and refresh them again

Love Sonnet

I love her, yes, I did
for all that I know
without knowing why
and how i love her
I just love her
without prejudices
without boundaries
yet I could not confess
for there was no one
i could have confessed to
because the day we were
about to leave each other
we hugged, kissed goodbye
and turned, I took a step
then turned waiting
only to see her walking
waited for her to turn
and may be call out
but she did not even turn
all i heard were footsteps
moving farther and farther
with her shadow also
leaving me standing there
all along by myself
and having her still
deep, in my heart
I moved on from there
hoping that one day
I would get over her
but this love of mine
refuses to let her go
and I waited for her
to call and come
in vain for it was me
who had love for her
and she has been too busy
working her way in
this materialistic world
Now when I meet her
she moves along
as a stranger to me
who never knew me
The one who held hands
the one who walked
distances with me
is cold now to me
and yet I love her
without knowning
why I do still love her

glimpse of you

I seek the garden
with color of  spring
a fresh bloom and
fragrance of flowers
for only in such
a blooming place
I can hope for a
glimpse of you

I have not had
spring in months
and with it I have
forgotten its fragrance
its bloom and color
that resembled you
resembled your face
your innocence, you

I do not seek to
live here without you
yet I breathe in
each moment in here
hoping to catch
a glimpse of you
even till last breath
I hope to see you

I love this earth
this soil and air
this water and
all that exists here
because of you
because you live
on this soil here
breathe this air
touch this water

Because of you
I wait across seas
separated by borders
hoping to catch
glimpse of you
again on this earth
with these eyes
which seek you

because of you my eyes
see your glimpse in every
mirror and every drop
of water that they hold
the dew drop holds
you in them each dawn
and the world vanishes
when I close my eyes

My desire of you
is infinite, unending
yet this life is finite
and I hope to catch
glimpse of you, in life
I have here on earth
before I am born again
to be you then forever.

my desire of you

In my desire of you
I seek a place here
not like this earth
where,
no pain touches you
river of sorrow is far
happiness of waves
washes your feet
moment after moment
may be across ocean
may be on another planet
but a place where
there is no salt that lives
on you from your sweat
and in that each moment
You and I love, seek
each other infinitely
like a perfection that exists
in this sea awaiting river
in this thirsty drop
seeking the dry earth
as love did not live
on its own in my heart
in my soul that lives
in you as you, your love

nothingness

There is void, nothingness
that surrounds me
and I seek to live in it
in this loud vacuum
I seek you at each moment
when I know you are far
the stillness of this time
still brings you closer
in my pursuit of happiness
I seek to fool my heart
with memories of yours
fill my dreams with you

Desolate paths that lighted
when you were with me
are now dark always
even under glaring sun
the beats down myself
burning me down completely
but I see a hollowness inside
for my heart is no longer there
I lost my heart to you     (a 2 day gap between heart and following lines)
and I no longer own it
yet the desire for you
burns in the same heart
even though it is not with me
I cannot loose this desire

I no longer love you

I no longer love you,
as love is only finite
it ends with these bones
that go back to elements
when we breath our last
yet my soul would
continue to crave for you
from this life to another
and in between of
these two lives as well

I no longer seek you
for seeking is for self
but when soul connects
you want the other
to be happy always
and that is not about
seeking other soul
but seeking happiness
for the other soul
irrespective of this
that it makes me happy
it doesn't make me happy

I no longer see you
for I can see another
only when that is not me
now that am you
and you are in me
how else do I see you
with my own eyes
without turning them
inwards, towards my heart
where I just see you, no me
from the begining of time
to the end of eternity.

failure

Ah, how do I express
my feelings for you
to you
for my vocabulary
is limited
and words fail me
to find an expression
to say it to you
that how much
I have loved you
cause the heart
does not hear noise
that comes from
this mouth
in form of words
for they are just
not enough to be
able to express feelings
of one heart
for another
which are best expressed
without failure of  speach
through the silence
in which my heart
communicates with yours
in front of everyone
and yet no one hears,

I am no potter

How do I touch your skin
with an impeccable tone
and glow that only it has
in the fire that it did hone

for my hands will dirty it
leaving marks all over
for I am no potter here
who knows how to cover

Though I may not toil
each day out in the sun
yet my hands not as clean
as the texture of your skin

Am afraid to hold you tight
for I may deform tenderness
of your lovely innocent face,
and also of hands softness

the clay that makes you up
is clean, clear and my hands
dont have that skill to lift
and put it in the stands

I am no potter, beloved
to put clay, turn wheel
onto your tender heart
or mold that hands deal

I am no potter, my love
for me to know how much
sun is needed to let firm
and yet let you be as such

Dear, Am afraid to hold
for my hands leave a mark
on clay that is fresh cause
I am no potter to hide dark

I don't see you

I don't see you anymore
in my dreams at night
for the night like it stars
twinkles in my eyes with
memories of our time together
yet does not give me moments
in which my eyes close and
I go into a state of dreams
where I am in in yours
and you are in my dreams
like this river that is in sea
and no one can make out
where the river did end
and where the sea took over

My nights are devoid of sleep
that used to be in my eyes
ever since you are gone,
far away in a distant land
and I search like a Bedouin
searching for a little oasis
in the big dry and empty desert
where thirst is quenched
and in whose fire and water
bread he eats is baked
just like the flare the comes
as light reflected by your skin

my dawns are without the breeze
that flows each morning here
on this earth as it wakes up
fresh like a wave of sea
lashing on the shore here
one after another dragging
these houses made in sand
along with it in its depth
never to be seen, here ever
but to let us have more of
this sand and gravel here
to keep building more homes
and decorate them with love

my days are dark and gloomy
with no sun to shine here
without your presence in
my afternoons which are dark
like dense black clouds
which cover the sun high
but are never low enough
either to merge with the cloud
or to have droplets falls
that can reach this thirst earth

then I waited for monsoon
to send me winds filled
with water to breathe
and fragrance to live for
just like a small fresh bud
of the spring that is about
to bloom after tough winter
bringing with it all its
colors and fragrance
to lighten up my world

I used to also wait for you
each hour of the day
at the same place we met
day after day, week after week
like the hands of the clock
which visit the same spot twice
in the day, once in light
and other again in dark
in hope that if someone is
shy of the light and world
that one can appear in dark

I used to see you with eyes
and in my dreams always
and when I could not open
nor I could sleep at night
I had you always with me
deep in my heart captured
there with my soul as companion
but still as a deer I searched
for you like my musk
which is within me
and I seek the world for you
love, how else do i describe
this unending love for you
for even when you are far
I see you in my heart always

Winter sun

Its peak of a cold winter
sky decides to rain love
in form of this sunshine
as sun appears from mist

the dew on grass holds
as loved to lover at dawn
unwilling to let go of quilt
that covers sleepy dreams

air around has a bit of nip
but just enough to entice
birds to chirp and fly again
in pairs to promised land

the air is clear of usual fog
inviting us to stroll ahead
experience glory of lovers arms
in this outreach of sunshine

i reach out, seeking your hand
to hold in this frosty morning
to warm it together in sunshine
walk to adobe hand in hand