Shadows

I want to trace
our footsteps
back in time
when you and
I together
walked on this earth
unaware what
destiny holds for us

But when I walk,
I want to be in
your Shadows
and not alone

those streets of
far away land
were beautiful
only because of you
they enchant today
because you roamed
that earth once

I want to sit
on the same rock
and relive those
moments again
with you by side
watching over
those memories
with me

what id you and I
were to walk
back in time
and relive those days
for ever again
this time to hold
and never move
apart

What use is this sun
if it cannot even get
your shadow near
to me, here

What use are these
stars or the moon
when they do not
see me and you
together in time

Our story, love
cannot be driven
by these distances
that separate us
our story has to be
in those hands held
and walking in
each others shadows

what love

Whenever I see you
I forget, there is sun
or moon or stars

I know all light
illuminating this world
comes from your heart

hold me beloved
the path is dark
my heart needs you
to see the road ahead

the path is full of stones
where my toe hurts
but with you along
the stones give way
bowing in reverenace

love, come hold me
and let the light pass
from your heart to mine

you have such a glow
but yet you are reluctant
to come and hold me

love, why are you afraid
what makes you hesitate
the walls you built are
for you to break down
and move on ahead
yet to see those as
limitations imposed
when your heart
has itself put them

what makes you think
that love is not what is
it will not last for ever
this distance will kill
the love that ever existed

but love, listen here
the contrary is true
love will bake us
further to be ready
to be green again
in yet another spring

the fire of love
that burns within
will ensure that none
is raw on this earth
none remains without
without each-other's love

come beloved seek me
in your arms and heart
for even if the world
does not see you
i see you deep inside
reigning over my heart

you know you love
and I know you love
you know I love
and I know I love
yet we are far way
why are we so afraid
what fear do we carry
that we still are not one
we are still running away
from each other

Love, what love
that you close eyes
there and I sleep here
Love, what love
I am in pain here
and you feel it there
Love, what love
that my soul is
no longer in me
love, what love
my heart resides
somewhere in you

Love's agony

Love,
I tied my heart
to yours
where each pull
wound's heart
bleeds chest

why then love
you embrace
my, a man's dark
yet are indifferent
to my heart
beating for you

I dont love
your skin or
those eyes
nor face or
any other
physical stuff

Irrespective of age
wrinkles of skin
innocence of
your heart
stays
its that I love

i made choice
either to live with
and love you
or to live apart
and always bow
in devotion to you

My love does not
seek you
My love wants
to always see
you happy
with joy in life

If that joy of yours
is without my
presence
I will not be
with you
ever again

Love, its you
who has keys
of your joy
and mine
or to unwantted
life of pain

why love then
you decide
to be indifferent
only to condemn
me to this painful
wait for you

why do you
not look into
my eyes and
yet talk silently
to my heart when
no one hears

Love, you are
eternal being
for me and soul
and yet you
come for an
little instance

Who cares now
that I live or die
who cares if
dawn breaks or not
for me this night
without you is endless

Love, you are far
yet, I seek you
always in all I see
on each street
in every door
through each window

Any face I see
I see no difference
between that face
and your face
yet when I seek heart
I see divinity

by not being close
you take me away
from divinity
from my salvation
that comes from you
your love.

Love Sonnet

Nothing except you
drives me to live
nothing except you
show me life
and yet when I try
to be close to you
you retreat in a shell
hiding your face

Give me your hand
I will dance with joy
tell me am not worthy
I will lie in devotion
surrendering my self
to you, your love in me
where there is no doubt
it seeks its god in you

I and you, are here for
few moments and then
we separate for unknown
and yet you stay so far
even in these little instances
you insist on this agony
that burns through
your heart and mine

At instance I see you
I land with  your innocence
i love to hold and kiss
but skin's gentleness stops
I then blow my kiss in air
for air is gentler than lips
thoughts hold your hands
roughness of mine may hurt

love I have forgotten all  those
with whom I ever laughed
but I cannot forget you ever
for with you I have cried
in that embrace, once
that lingers in me forever
and makes me love your
innocent heart - pilgrim soul

homeless man

beyond tears, beyond agony and pain
lives a life which has nothing else to gain

little does he have as, in living means
and all he hopes is relief from some pain

in moonsoon as world waits for rain
he prays for not much for him to drain

his house has no roof nor any walls
he does not try to hide clothes stains

tattered, torn, barely there cloth he wears
all attempts to cover body go in vain

I wonder how he lives in chilly winters
and how does he manage his grain

and yet I see him smiling on each day
and he does art with just a little fusain

I crib a lot for what I do not have here
and he is thankful for every little grain

Am worried living in a house, four walls
yet he sleeps peacefully without a curtain

he lives in house of content, happiness, joy
and we are in worry, greed even with swain

he is in his own heart, yet he is homeless
we living in homes secured yet complain

when buds bloom

When the buds bloom
colors are all around us
the air is fragrant, and
butterflies flock for nectar

When rains hit the earth
things start to turn green
a fragrances rises up and
life starts to appear there

When sun rises at dawn
sky plays with varied colors
changing hues each second
and the birds start to sing

When I get a glance of you
my still feet begin to dance
my heart beats loud and sings
and my life is fragrant again

You come as blooming flower
spreading fragrance all around
you come as rain on thirst earth
and love, let life spring around

You come as the sun at dawn
and fill life with birds perch
come as yourself my love
and let me be drunk on you

you met me like a drizzle

you met me like a wave
while walking on shore
touching my flesh
just for an instance
never to be found
again
but in that instance
you left behind
those oysters
full of memories- pearls
each having its own
story to tell

you met me like a drizzle
which wets the earth
and has earthly fragrance
from it all around
from the moment it
touches the earth
till all of water is gone
the earth is fragrant
and so am I
since time we met
I carry your essence
which spreads this
fragrance
all around 

you met me as divine
holding my hand
giving peace, solace
without asking
delivering to my
heart
the gift of new dawn
as if I had a new life
I was reborn
getting all that
was ever needed
without praying
my Love
you are the amen
to all my prayers

forgotten you

In these long days
that have passed by
I have forgotten you
i have forgotten love
how is your face,
how your voice sounds
how does your hand feel
when i hold it in mine

what is your fragrance
that kept me intoxicated
how is that demeanor
that made me admire you
how you still look
into my eyes piercing
when i ask you
to just hold me

I have forgotten
how your lips feel
on my lips and skin
and take me to trance
where I used to loose
myself in your glory
of only divine creature
I even knew existed

but in-spite of this
forgotten existence
of mine on earth
I carry that sweet pain
of your giving
deep in my heart
that solemn gift
of love you gave me

I still have those
blurred memories
of a few days we
hand in hand
walked the streets
of a distant corner
and those little days
we lived together
far from all civilization

but in spite of this
I have not forgotten
you, your name, love
and on every falling  star
I call out your name
every strand of mine
just chants your fame
in spite of your absence
i always see you coming
as a weary desert traveller
sees an oasis right here

I see you love in every
blink of my eyes
whenever I shut my lids
to this world, an old
image of yours springs
holding my hand
as earlier as always
soothing my nerves
with your feather touch
holding my hands
with your little hands

साथ रहता था

साथ रहता था जो अब मिलता भी नहीं
सामने से गुज़रता है और पहचानता नहीं
अब कश्मकश-ऐ-ज़िन्दगी एक तन्हाई है
या ख़ुदा कहीं ये ही तेरा इरादा तो नहीं

आज भी मैं उसी की याद से कुछ  ज़िंदा हुँ
उसके सिवा दिल ने संजोया कुछ भी नहीं
उसके दिए चंद  फूल आज भी संभाले हैं
इनके सिवा, दौलत अपनी कुछ भी नहीं

क्यों है दुरीयाँ या ख़ुदा तेरी इस दुनिया में
और एक उम्र से ज़्यादा की महोलत नहीं
कितना बेज़ार हुँ की एक कदम चलता नहीं
मेरा उसके साथ के सिवा कोई सहारा नहीं

रंग थे जो सब जीने के तेरे साथ जुदा हो गए
अब मेरे पास सफ़ेद रंग के सिवा कुछ नहीं
सनी है ज़िन्दगी जाने कितने सन्नाटों से
कोई रंगरेज़ इसे को रंगने को  तय्यार नहीं

उठाये खड़ा हुँ इन थके हाथों से इस बोज़ को
पास इसे हल्का करने की लिए काँधा नहीं
वो ये जाने या न जाने या ख़ुदा बता देना
कि उनके सिवा मेरा यहाँ कोई भी नहीं 

Separation

We were happy alone
and then we met once
to be happier than ever
only to separate with pain
that goes through the heart
into the soul of being
which is always wandering
to seek you once again
on this earth, in this life
love with you for ever,

This time without you
this separation of life
is worse than the pain
you gave to me earlier
I cried in pain of love
I was alive in that pain
which came with your love
and now i cry again
in this pain of separation
but this pain is unbearable
this pain of life without you

Now, as seeker I knock
many a doors; walk on
many more door steps
wandering through streets
which bear resemblence
to you, carrying your
fragrance and image
through this wind
that blows into me
carrying your kisses
through this air to me
each breath at a time

O beloved, you see me
and hide just to tease
not knowing what goes
through my heart in this
very moment of despair
when I know you are here
and yet I cannot see you
its then I sing for you
I dance on streets for you
in this crowd of intrepid

O Love, stop this game
meet me like a lost river
that was destined to merge
and chart the course
together till end of time
from this land onwards
to the sea of life with waves
and form to welcome
come lets roar across
fields, forest and lands
from this life to another

broken dreams

the agony and pain
of broken dreams
lost aspirations and
an unwelcomed
solitude that lives
without your presence

Dreams that made
me live so far, are
no longer my dreams
they shattered yesterday
when we moved on
in different directions

we are moving far
at each moment
of this existence
and this distance
as it grows further
hurts more and more

No longer will my long
days carry with them
intoxicating lingering
fragrance of yours
as would the nights
be without your thoughts

For Body only breaths
and souls live on
but with you gone
my soul will be where
you are at that moment
not with me in my heart

your absence

I have spent the night
without any sleep,
in my eyes
remembering you
while trying to forget
you and our love

We met for days
and then I knew
I love you
in that very instant
and now we are
away from each other
for so long and
yet forgetting you
is so difficult

I am afraid to dream
as your absence
is present in
my every dream
tearing me apart
at each moment
I dream without
your love's existence

without your presence
my body may be alive
but my soul abandons it
in its search for you
in this existance
and in many more
lives yet to come

My eyes look for you
where are you, they ask
why do you need a lifetime
or even more than that
to come back and
be besides my darkness
and you keep giving
this endless pain to me

you absence goes through me
piercing my heart every moment
for me to feel renewed agony
in every breath, every beat
of my torn pierced heart
leaving me with wounds
which will never heal

I knew nothing of colors
and yet I loved your glow
and in your absence
all my colors are gone
replaced with one color
the color of your absence
and all canvases I have
are painted with it

love, your absence makes
me die again each minute
waiting for you to come
and hold me again once
for that one last kiss
whose essence i carry
with me to my death
and let it linger on my soul
long after my body is gone

love let me die then
on your last kiss
so that there is nothing else
that replaces its feeling
on my soul and body
for it to remain forever
immortal in my death
on my half open mouth
and your hands on my eyes
closing them one last time

Blessed

How blessed I am
that I float on your thoughts
as a boat intact floating
on a calm limitless sea
with your essence around
as the only existence
that I see on earth

How blessed I am
that I do not drown
in this expanse of yours
where even a small crack
can fill me with you
and drown me for ever
into the dark depths


How blessed I am
that I love you deeply
and yet I float on here
along your presence
horizon to horizon
across infinite rainbows
coloring our lives

How blessed I am
with your image deep
inside my heart
that keeps me alive
on a moonless night
when I just hear you
but my eyes do not see

How blessed I am
that on such night
my eyes turn inwards
and you come alive
in my thousand dreams
playing havoc with heart
dancing carefree

How blessed I am
that my existence is
because you exist here
and continue to bear
the weight of my boat
that floats with hope
of yours endlessly

Its your eyes

Its your eyes I need
to light my path
that treats through
your curly locks
and into the dark
that covers light
coming from sun
or moon and stars
onto me, my face
resting peacefully
on your lovely lap
in your own shade

Its your eyes I need
to walk a step
in this darkness
of infinite universe
which is only yours
and which you own
for there is nothing
that can exist here
that is not you
that is not yours
or has not been
touched by you

Oarsman and the sea

I row my boat
before each dawn
to see your face
as the day breaks
upon the waves
that flow from you
some sober,
some rough
along the tides
that drench my soul
soaking in those
deep lovely eyes
that beset my boat
till am on your waves
feeling the mystery
creatures that spring
from your depths

I row my boat
each day, endlessly
feeling your moods
one wave after another
holding tightly
on to my oars
as the swift flow
tries to take
these away from me
across the limitless
expanse of yours
from one horizon
to another horizon
with rainbows galore

I row my boat
under your hairs
cool breeze shade
each dusk
back to ground
with your waves
barely reaching me
this time is difficult
for you are not there
and in this darkness
I don't have
your light
to keep me going

I row my boat
away from this
dry ground
where your expanse
ends, abruptly
and roar of your
waves is stopped
I row again
towards the center
of your expanse
towards my universe
where life beacons
me my love

I row my boat
and loose my oars
to be there
with you for ever
at mercy of your
swinging moods
tides, high and low
and deep blue
limitless expanse
that waits for me
with open arms
ready to embrace
me like each day
before this
and each day
thereafter

Am not the one

Am not one who wants
am not the one desires
am the one who seeks
you, above all that exists

beyond the worldly ideas
of whats right and wrong
of what is great, what not
I adore, above all that exist

look into my eyes once or
look into my eyes any times
they are mirror reflecting you
for you are above all that exists

let anyone else look into these
and see beyond the dampness
all they see is portrait, yours
for you are, above all that exists

world prays to many gods
for what they want, desire
and I just chant your name
as you are above all that exists

come hold my hand once
and i will not leave it ever
steer my boat to your adobe
as you are above all that exists

take me as a speck of dust
that waits on path you traverse
in hope that you trample me
in your walk from all that exists

why did I write

At every sight of yours
every thought that carries your name
every dream where I see you
I write proses about you

proses that seem endless
and yet have an end
proses where words are chosen
and yet am at a loss of words

where each word is set
with wings to fly towards
the highest clouds known
and carry with it your beauty

and then I always wonder
why did i choose these words
which pale in front of you, for
they cannot describe fraction of you

then each sight of yours
makes me look as a fool
on why i decides to describe you
why did i even write

why did I even write
when there are no words
that can stand up to your beauty
stand up to your heart, your soul

A sight of yours

A sight of yours heals me
a sight of yours torments me
my heart races every time
you turn for a glance of me

Strange illness gripped me
now no-one comes near me
all say I have fallen in love
but this illness, fall raises me

world does not bother me
for it has no cure for me
my medication is your sight
and your sight also kills me

with deep eyes pierce me
with long locks bind me
just smile here for once
and with it you buy me

colorful soul come to me
your presence colors me
am awaiting to be dyed
in your colors soak me

Fragrant one, be next to me
Am thorn, be rose to me
let me bask in your glory and
take some fragrance on me

what do I call you, tell me
come near love, torment me
you are a lover, a tormentor

do what you always do to me

Innocence

I see you and world around
and I wonder
how did you preserve
this innocence
in your radiant face,
deep
in your eyes
in your selfless smile

When we look for masks
in all faces around
I see innocence
when I see you
your face, straight
without any deciet
without hidden intentions
straight, innocent

This innocence
is what makes you
what you are
what keeps you
apart from world
pure, unblemished
in every mirror
that you see yourself

how do i forget you
your innocence
as much as
and as deep as
the dark blue ocean
preserving in it
expanse of  this
life, universe

soul-mate

You are neither my friend
nor are you my partner
beyond all that earth contains
you are my soul's fodder
you are my soul-mate

my soul has been planning
this meeting with you
much before you and I
were born here
much before we met
much before we knew
how each other looked
before we met in person

On this earth, here now
we did not hold each other
we did not let lips meet
but still we were intimate
in spite of the distance
we were one, single being
and today when we are far
and we may not meet again
we are still connected
through the window that
goes beyond my heart to yours
through our souls

In this life or after many
thereafter, or till time ends
this connect will remain
my soul will keep looking
again until it finds you
I may love others
but I can never have
another one to replace you
as partner of my soul
I may have friends
but none of them
can be as close to me
as we were, me and you

Take me from here

Take me from here
this place is drab
neither she is here
nor is any wine
to help me tide
over her memories

the wind is dry, hot
for me to blow
kiss to her here
for it to fly and
reach across seas
to her shores

Noise is deafening
for me to speak
these word of love
to distant beloved
for them to be heard
at her shores

Dust is scattered
vision is blurred
for me to see her
across the seas
beyond the horizon
living at her shores

My heart aches
pain is unrelenting
driven by separation
of land and seas
me here in desert
she at her shores

your god - my god

We met as humans
loved as humans
but then separated on god
your god - my god

All scriptures hail love
all religions swear by love
yet every barrier is about god
your god - my god

why can't you and I just love
why can't we survive with love
how can love be tabooed by god
with one, having differently named god

we don't realize god is one
we don't realize all paths are one
all scriptures just talk of love
and we still belittle love

My god never told not to love
your god never told not to love
then why do we have barriers
why we think anything else in love

by love you are the soul I adore
you are one I will always adore
don't think my god - your god
love is all, be it my god, your god

my eyes are sad

My eyes
they are sad
having not seen
you
for days
they are lost
they don't see
anything else
coming
or going
They wait
for your presence
to wake them
out of the trance
they went
when last time
they saw you

My eyes
they are sad
for they see
nothing else
that's more beautiful
or even closely
comparable
to you
your angel heart
pilgrim soul
that held me
my heart
and my soul
as mortgage
for our
next meeting

My eyes
they are frozen
they see one way
from where
you promised
to come
and hold me
once again
close to your
breast tight
not letting me
go yet again
alone
into this world
seeing strangers
unknown to me
without your hand

My eyes
they are sleepless
they don't want
to dream
least you come
and keep
your promise
to meet there
My eyes
they want to
let dreams pass
and see you
right here
in reality
once
on this earth
again and again

My eyes
they are closed
they did not
see you come
they are heading
to the grave
with an unfulfilled
promise,
a wish
they hoped
will be fulfilled
but the eyes
will remain
in the grave
waiting to see
if you come
there and
at least hold
my hand
through the soil
once again.

Drop of water

A small drop of water
that I hold in my hands
reflect the moon and stars
and all else that stands

with no movement nor
by revolving my eyes
I see the universe there
all stars and moon it ties

holding the glory of night
ah my eyes, what sight
a speck from the universe
holding the universe tight

infinite hues it does behold
and only few my eyes see
ah this drop is priceless
for such is not even in sea

i hold you tight o drop
somewhere in your midst
is my beloved adobe
her face, fresh as mist

i do not let this drop go
for apart from entire universe
and rainbow of her colors
O Drop, its so diverse

beloved's door steps

I am at my beloved's door steps
O people don't move me from here
you may think its insane for me  to sit
outside lover's house but I wait here
for that glimpse I may get of love
see beloved's window is right here

It was pitch dark when I arrived
now dawn has also passed by here
the sun is out and its getting hot
people wonder why I lurk here
but I still need a glimpse of my love
for that I will continue to wait here

Beloved may not know am waiting
may be surprised to see me here
i just need to see that face again
that surprised look on face here
I am at my beloved's door steps
O people don't move me from here

Strings that strum

what quiet place is this where
no strings have ever strum
in spite of the huge crowd 
never have heard a drum

crowds walk in and out
with no rhythm or rhyme
the clock ticks are silent
there is no noise from time

make as quiet as you want
stop all strings and drums
but how would you stop
beats from heart that comes

there are strings of heart
that continue to strum
pulse continues to race
heartbeat sounds the drum

life sings along each moment
through all the highs and lows
bodies swinging to its rhythm
with me and you always in tow

Sand

On the coarse terrain of sand
there are no clouds nor any rain
ah, just a few little dirty hand
and this extreme, dry arid terrain
in expanse all we see is sand
and the light that is land's gain
ends in a horizon in sand's land
here camel back is a lived pain
with humps filled water and sand
desert ships trained to sustain pain
unattended crossing sea of sand
in day and night what they gain
in search of oases in sand's land
all is lost in that one drop of rain
that seeps rarely across this sand

Rose bud

each day in the garden
many buds open up
a riot of color erupts
coloring the world

my rose bud is closed
it has been like this
for months now
refusing to open

my words fail there
to get it to open
touches unanswered
the bud remains closed

I cannot see colors
nor smell its fragrance
just wait for it to open
and spread fragrance

my chest beats loud
agony of wait unbearable
day after day, I wait
looking at bud with hope

I wait to smell its fragrance
touch its smooth petals
soak in it bright colors
held close with the stem

As the thorn on the stem
that waits for its completion
am waiting for the bud
to blossom, complete me

Beyond

Beyond the noise of the crowd
far beyond the expanse of time
beyond ideas of right or wrong
I have been seeking you from
time even before I know you
in this life and even before that
on this earth and many before
across the expanse of universe
and many more such existences
and I will continue to seek you
your soul that lives in this body
now, then and forever and ever
as there is no other being here
who can make me live and
be myself over and over again
who can show me my world
and my sense of being here for
I found the entire world in you

My dreams are gone

My dreams are gone
I can no longer sleep
with the emptiness
that surrounds me
my night's solitude
each night after night

My dreams are gone
ones which you said
you did understand
but not sure you did
ones I always cherished
hoped to live one day

My dreams are gone
the dreams that were
about you and about me
about the last autumn
we spent alone together
holding hands you and me

My dreams are gone
in vast hollow summer
for no winter or spring
ever came our way
to let the trees have leaves
and those flowers blossom

My dreams are gone
for this summer is dry
neither rain nor a tear
the cheeks are dry
for I cannot even hide
my tears in lost rain

Am tired

Am tired of being strong
and tired of walking sraight
looking people in the eye
and telling them all is fine

Am tired of my smiling face
when I want to break down
and cry where no one sees
or feels wounds of heart

These wounds are deep
am tired of nursing them
and the pain they bring
is always unbearable

they carry with them
a fading image of yours
which still keeps me alive
to suffer without you

Love, do not come near
and touch my wounds
they will bleed again and
give more pain to me

Am tired love, of my being
which exists without you
this existance that is devoid
of your presence, your being

Am tired love to be walking
around in the world here
proving my existence till
the last breath, staying alive

Why cannot I lie down here
where you walked the shore
with me and holding my hand
and be still here till the end

Am tired of not being wit you
and always looking at that
fading memories of yours
that live in me for ever

I want you to know

Love, I want you
to know how it is

There are days here
when I get up early
My eyes, cheeks dry
but soul is all wet
my heart bleeds
for you are far

I have liked things
I have cared for people
but the one I love
is not with me
my love you are far
beyond the horizon
where I cannot see
or hear you say

I send my message
through the ships that
sail towards the horizon
only for then to disapper
and not to be seen again

My love that is sent
who knows if it reaches
your shore or not
if these ship delivers
my kisses to you
or they loose my love
somewhere in deep oceans
across the horizon

My Love you are far
and my longing for you
only grows with time
these pangs of separation
cry in my soul all over
again and again, endlessly
each night and each day
But you know how it is
even if you forget me love
my love for you cannot end
this fire cannot be extinguished

This distance between us
kills the warmth that exists
and if you decide to forget me
and decide to not love me
any longer, I would cease
to be myself that very day

end of each day

At the end of each day
when I come back tired
all I need see if your face
and the world brightens
your light fills my heart
and I see life worth living

but now that you are away
you are not in my solitude
my days are dark, lonely
without any life in moments
without your small hand
to hold, forehead to kiss

At the end of each day
my thoughts are full of you
your absence from here
cries out loud in heart
and my longing for you
kills me each minute then

Starry moonlit nights are dark
and without sweet nothings
and the alleys of our house
haunt without your footsteps
its as if am taking last breath
At the end of each day

There is nothing else

There is nothing else love
but this feeling that i carry
feeling for love for you,
your pilgrim soul I desire
 I may not have this body
this skin may be replaced
but my love for your soul
will remain. Your soul I crave

In lives before this one
and in many there after
till my soul gets to you
your soul is what I need
Beyond circle of life-death
beyond the worldly feels
beyond the sense of time
I love you, hence I need you

we met on this earth once
in these bodies that we exist
we may never meet again
my body, my skin may change
but not my desire for your soul
not my want of life from you
not my desire of life here
that comes from your soul

This life, breath may cease
and another will take over
but then I will be reborn here
again searching for your soul
Till the day I find you again
to embrace you tight and you
embrace me back beyond life
and death, forever and ever