exchanging my eyes

My house had
your imprint all over
so forget those
I changed my house

I lived in the street
where you used to walk
to avoid those footprints
I moved streets

My city's air had
your lingering fragrance 
to get over your fragrance
I moved across cities


everywhere I had starred nights
when  you and I walked,
so I gave up these nights
and lived in endless days

yet, my eyes always saw
dreams with you in it
dreams eyes could not forget
so am now exchanging my eyes

As the night passes

As the night passes,
I burn my hands
trying to pluck stars
from the dark night
holding on to them
till the lonely moon
passes leaving them
to shine bright

As the night passes
I hold each strand
of your hair one by one
untangling my dreams
of life, of colors, breath
that are alive with you
from now onwards
up until eternity
As the night passes
my eyes do notsleep
waiting endlessly here
for a glimpse of yours
not knowing that
the dreams hold hope
of your face being
visible to me each night
 

my sunshine

I slept through the dark night
hoping for sunlight to shine
on my bundled lonely soul
only to find that this day
and this afternoon has died
its replaced by another gloomy
cluster of dark-dark clouds
which has stolen my sunshine

How many nights I waited?
How many days I spent in wait?
To be greeted by, another
gloom of destiny's punch,
to cloud my eyes, my heart,
and pierce through it as, a
dagger buried in ground, that
moves, but cannot be pulled

I have tried hard to pull the
dagger out of the ground
All it does is to deepen
the already deep wound
The wound on ground now
bleeds through each vein
there is no bandage I know
to tie broken pebbles together

Don't cry or pray for the sky
to pour on me in this state
I will lose, my loose pebbles and,
have less of what I have now
I have moved from one
gloom to another gloom
without seeing the sun shine
without my eyes seeing you

Absence

Week of togetherness flew in moments.
These months of absence seems like ages.
Beloved, I cannot survive your absence,
I will die in this hollowness without you;
but, even if I were to die in this agony,
Love, I want to see you still smiling.
Smiling, from the moment you rise,
in the morning, till the time you sleep.
From one moon to another moon.
Without fail, without a frown, real
Beloved, for if you were to cry, then,
my soul will also not survive the moment.
I will die another death, my soul will die
and I would not be able to see you
from that soul's eyes, even after death
my dying then would be in utter vain

Your absence has also gone through me
piercing heart like an arrow still stuck
with blood dripping through infinitely
with any attempt to remove it failing
Beloved, I carry your image in my heart 
and it is plastered on these imaginary walls
with each dripping drop from my heart
I do not see floor or walls, just your image

You know Love, this absence is hollow,
like the vast corridors of a ruined fort,
where, once life showed itself in glory
and today, all it has is scars to tell tale.
how much more pain, does this wounded
heart, of mine has to bear in this life
for how long do I need to carry with me
this half drawn arrow of your absence.

this is it

When someone tells you
about the glow of full moon
and how bright it shines
just lift your face to them

when someone asks you
about the vast of ocean
and its infinite expanse
just open your arms

when someone asks you
about the cosmic grace
of numerous stars at night
just dance on the roof

when someone asks you
about the melody of cuckoo
and the song of the rain
just blow into your flute

and when I come to you
asking the meaning of life
just lean into me for once
and kiss me on my lips

saying this is it.

I wait

Our hearts, did beat
for each other; every moment
we longed to meet, each other
We met

we walked the streets
holding hand in hand
and then came the clouds
we cover

There is thunder, rain
and puddle of water around
they said its gonna be flooded
we swam

There was a land far
we built our house there
then came men with daggers
we hid

They divided lands
through lines called borders
our house was broken
we seperated

Then came the rosary
beeds, incense and scriptures
we both read it differently
we foought

And in the battle came
men on horses and elephants
killing each other with dagger
we bleed

As the armies receded
we both pick up our pieces
half of our hearts, half or bodies
we are torn

The land was lush
green and full of life
is now a desert like heart
and we cry

A storm comes
blowing wind on memories
I  see you in them again
I desire

as the dust settles down
I see you standing; not sure
if you are coming or still going
I wait.

I wait for you

I wait for you on the shore
with my arms wide open
for any ship that passes
this land, hoping to see you

I don't tire of standing
nor do I tire of my open arms
but my mind tires of, this
emptiness without you

I have seen numerous
suns rise and set again
yet, I have been here,
on this shore waiting

I saw many fairy moon
nights, and dark ones too
with stars to company
yet I stand here without you

The ocean lashes me wave
after wave, with force of
water to tell its there and
yet I don't see you around

This wind carried with it
moisture from the seas
yet my eyes are still dry
waiting for you to pour

Many clouds have rained
yet earth around is barren
even in spring it had thorns
for its flower was missing

I have stayed with a rose
and lived there as a thorn
but if you were to not come
there will be no rose born

All this I have so far here
all this that the world gives
it has no place for me here
if you were not to come

Come and witness this spring
come and makes flowers bloom
in your absence this is immaterial
in presence this is immaterial

pair of love birds

As the pair of love birds
head back to their nest
My eyes wander across seas
to catch a glimpse of you
and see when you and I
can be together in our nest

You and I live separated
by numerous lands and seas
alone in our own little nests
across artificial boundaries
and a sea of infinite men
bent on dividing this earth

If only we had the wings
to fly over these men
and these artificial drawn lines
that men created on earth
we could have been together
in one nest here or there

We could live together
under this very blue sky
under which we are far
see each other in moonlight
under same stars of night
born by the same earth

We could have then lived
in one of our existing nests
or  create new one elsewhere
migrating along the seasons
to newer pastures each day
breathing a different air

but that was not to be
we are not those birds
that have wings to escape
the lines drawn on earth
and the sea of men that each
guards a different piece of land

This summer is ending now
and swans will again migrate
from the colder regions
to warmer plains, yet you
and I will remain suffering
unlike the pair of swans

How I wish if we could be
swans that stayed together
from now till the end of time
across the lands they cross
across the seas they fly
as one , in unison, in love.

Moon and You

I long to see you each night
and this moon is a witness
Way the moon seeks the earth
and entire sky is its witness

I try to catch a glimpse of you
and then I chase your shadow
when moon comes out at night,
it does not have its shadow

How I wonder at times when
moon hides behind cloud's veil
where do you hide now tell me
or this air is also one of your veil

You hide from me for days
and do not show me your face
even then moon comes to me
each day with different face

Then in between it decides
to hide from me completely
then it teases me bit by bit
then face is visible completely

I hope for a such a miracle
should happen with your face
as long to seek you my love
I would get glimpse of your face

I gaze at the expanse ahead

I gaze at the expanse ahead
and pass the numerous stars
and that silver solitary moon
searching for that face of yours
that embezzled my little heart
only to be disappointed with
dark sky of this moonlit night

I gaze at the expanse ahead
and pass the numerous boats
and ships with masts and sails
searching for that little anchor
of your two shoulders to rest
my tired head against them
sleep in shade of your locks

I gaze at the expanse ahead
and pass the numerous dunes
and those little green oasis
in search of your lovely adobe
only to find myself wandering
in this never-ending sand
slipping from my hand like time

I gaze at the expanse ahead
on the green grass and meadows
and those bright colored orchids
passing through numerous rows
searching for your colors in them
to hold those colors close to me
and color myself in your colors

Loneliness

I love to breathe an air
that makes me feel you
and as I close my eyes
I just see an image of you
which resides in my heart
in tiny openings in there
which for me was small
but now I know space here

The tiny heart that appeared
to have nothing left with you
the same tiny heart of mine
is endless in loneliness of you
I speak a word to you in it
and I hear my voice back
after days, weeks, months
the voice still echos loudly

Ah this emptiness has expanse
where I cannot see its end
my eyes close for an instance
there I can see you standing
near me at each step I take
yet I cannot reach out to you
and how much ever i try
i still do not see its end in sight

Loneliness has taught me now
that hearts expanse goes on
from stars to deepest oceans
and yet the end is not in sight
in any of that huge expanse
but when it sees you in person
that expanse reduces to distance
between the pair of arms and lips

the moon is gone

Ah, the moon is gone
leaving the sky behind
and stars follow it
along the dark sheet
that was engulfed
on this beautiful earth

Along with it, is gone
the serene music of
waves of vast ocean
which happily took
colors of sky and
reflected them as is

Just before it left
I saw a drop of dew
that too reflecting
the whole of sky
along with the moon
and silvery moonlight

Now with the cool
moon gone for day
the heat here would
take the dew drop away
and the leaf it was on
will wait another night

Ah, what seperation
why this seperation
why does leaf  suffer
the pain and the heat
of being away from
its drop or dew

Am afraid that in
this hot sunny day
the leaf may wither
and never be the same
again to hold its
beloved drop of dew

But then I realize
the moon will come
but it will not be
the same as it was
the last night for
it would have changed

But the grass keeps on singing

But the grass keeps on singing
in the night under the moonlight
even when whole world sleeps
it dances to the tune of wind
and when sun rises from east
grass still is dancing with it
not effected by the light or dark
as its in love with the wind
as it is also trusting the earth
to keep it where it stands
and let the wind come to it
for grass to continue to sing
dance to its unheard beats

The saga is broken at dawn
no, not of dancing or singing
but of the solitude that grass
shared along with the moon
in dim light under dark sky
as the grass is joined now
by numerous birds who flock
on it to perch and feel earth
to pick up food that is there
clear out dry twigs from grass
yet, the grass is unperturbed
it knows it will be green again
for it to sing, dance with the wind

I have waited for you

My Love, I have waited for you
like a lonely sun over the ocean
waiting for the waves to reach
and extinguish its burning fire 
only to be tired by the dusk
and retire far into silent ocean
and weep where no one sees it
to rise again with same furor
to wait another day in hope

My Love, I seek you here
with my arms extended as
the expanse of vast ocean
waiting for all the raging rivers
of love to merge in its expanse
with ferocity but retaining grace
with joy of a child,  finding home
where it can live in forever
to then be one with my soul

My Love, I seek your eyes
into their own unexplored depths
as the trenches of dark ocean
only to find infinite worlds
that have lived there unknown
to me or to anyone in this world
with pain and agony that made
you cry inside of yourself alone
My love, lets share and cry together...

I see you

I see you,
in my dreams of tomorrow
in pupil of my eyes in mirror
in the rising waves of the sea
in gush of air filling my lungs
and in each moment of time
that slips like sand in hour glass

I hold you,
in closed clenched soul of mine
in every  blink of my eyelids
in hidden depths of my heart
in my memories of yesterday
and in fragrance of this earth
that lives in me, with me always

I seek you,
in each tick of the second arm
in each beat of my aching heart
in each vein that resides in me
in each breath of air that I inhale
and in each and every cell of mine
that has lived in hope of you

Embrace

Each dusk when sun sets
and colors of the sky
wrap their arms around
this drolling little earth
I remember you and
embrace of your hands
around my fragile frame
just before I were to go

My restless heart races
at each thought of that
lovely embrace of yours
as it lingers in my pores
Why, Why did you embrace
me then like the way
you did embrace me then
why, why my love why

How do I forget you now
for no other hands feel
like way your hands did
back then on that day
How do I embrace another
as my pores are fragrant
with the lingering aroma
originating from your soul

I was awake

I was awake all night
looking at the moon
and countless stars
and how the moon
passes by the night
kissing these stars
till it is tired for night
and retires from sky
to come back again
after a days rest

In midst of all this
I witnessed myself
as a sail of a boat
in middle of far sea
stranded, unmoved
missing my beloved
that gust of wind
to take me closer
to the shores of life
that wait there for me
in a land where you
where you and I live

In a land of roses
and colored lilies
where seeing you
I would get restless
as a wind seeking
those very rosses
their soft petals
and their fragrances
to rest with my head
on their shoulders
covered by the little
speck of thorn
protecting me forever

trickling little streams

I seek expanse of ocean
and yet do you stop me
at trickling little stream
each small lake of water
as if teasing me to say
this is all you will get

Little did I realize then
that these streams when
they flow down the hills
form into raging rivers
which blow away land
to end up in the ocean

Little did I know then
these lakes would dry
one day from here and
be devoid of existance
had it not been for the
oceans to feed them

As I now wander lost
through hot dry desert
I no longer long for
the ocean of this earth
I just seek a small
little oasis of water

In this sandy terrain
I seek for sweet water
that comprises your love
that trickling little stream
which would run dry
to spring back to life

I seek for the air from
your breath to come
and refresh this garden
with your lovely perfume
from now, to the end
desert to farthest ocean

Stars of the South

I long for the same night
along the stars of south
where I first saw you
that air, along the ocean
and then we returned
under the stars of north
only to live in lands
separated by big seas
I long for green prairies
along which you live
as I go over the hills
to catch glimpse of you
the grass is green here
but you remain far
ah the stars see here
under you I don't see her
better was the place
far far away from you
where I could see her
each dawn and dusk
under the stars of south
I now live in a desert
where only thing clear
is this sand and the stars
O Stars you are so different
that may be beloved
does not like your ways
and does not come here
to give me a glimpse
How much I may wish
for house across your river
meandering through prairies
across the greens of land
knocking at the footsteps
where you awake each day
for my eyes to catch the sun
and each night as I kiss
good bye to your eye lids
I know I will sleep peacefully
like I did under stars of south
but then this is not the case
stars of north have betrayed
how much do I wish for us
you and I my love to
once again travel that far
and if stars of north fail us
we meet under stars of south

drop of water

I was still and calm
like a large lake in
a deep deep valley
but then you came
as a drop of water
creating ripples just
with a small touch

Ripples like so many
others, created by
stones that were thrown
but then I could see
all stones thereafter
but now I am searching
for you; my drop of water
that created these ripples

I am unable to find you
anywhere in my depths
anywhere along my banks
I ask air that flows around
It laughs at me loudly
as if  I am now insane
asking something weird


But I know and you know
you came in me as a drop
created ripples like no other
then where are you now
cause I want to see you
more than all other  that
had created ripples in me
are now settled in in me

O! my lovely drop of water
where have you vanished
and finally when I call out
to you O! drop of water
I see the whole of me stand
and respond in unison

You are me and I never knew
but then why do I seek
your shadow in my being
your presence in my mornings
your kisses in every dusk
for you to come and wake me
by your touch at each dawn

Wait

I wait for you in the expanse
like a boat without mast
stranded in middle of ocean
I wait for answers, tell me
What can be more painful
than an empty boat floating
alone in middle of the ocean

I look at agony of dying sun
each dawn its heart bleeds
as it bids good bye to beloved
I know what the sun must fell
what can be more disheartening
than to leave your own beloved
and go far away, invisible to all

I see melting drops of snow
breaking away from glacier
to trickle away from the land
I wait for it to roar with pain
What can give a shriller cry
than a ragging river in land
inundating all that is in its path

I see the moon each night
changing shapes to impress
those countless stars of sky
who do not care about moon
What can be more heartbreaking
than indifference of night, which
doesn't care as moon vanishes

Beloved, I have vanished
and melted away like snow
seen each dawn the sun sets
as the lonely boat in the ocean
what can be greater punishment
than this separation of hearts
bleeding alone, across shores

Wine

I have my cup with me
waiting for you to come
and pour wine into it
for me to be in ecstasy

I hold my cup wide
and dont let it shut
so that I do not miss
moment wine pours

Even if its for a moment
I wait for that moment
eagerly for months now
and for  more to come

How do I let my cup
my two pairs of eyes
ever blink to miss you
your one sight, its wine

How do I then live here
in this world, in my senses
when all life I have lived
dreaming to be intoxicated

Ah! world my indifferent
uncaring bartender, get me
my cherished wine, for no
else will quench my thirst

My eyes are tired of wait
I do not sleep for fear
another dream my dim
intoxication am waiting for

I was not yet done

I was not yet done,
admiring her beauty
when the great lamp
extinguished, vanished
leaving behind a trail
of small flickery light
and vast silvery pan
in which she does hide

I was not yet done
drinking from river
when it merged in sea
leaving me thirsty
with saline water
to hold in my hands
yet unable to bring
it close to my lips

I was not yet done
breathing her fragrance
when a gush of wind
blew spring away
leaving fertile earth
without any bloom
barren, dry cracked
with saline tears

I have burned like a candle

I have burned like a candle
in the flame of your love
have melted hundred times
grown a million times in love

love melted me like hard iron
and forged heart into shape
now each blow from hammer
helps me perfect my shape

My house was shaped then
but its entrance was tight
I broke it with many blows
and there enters your light

your love illuminates dark
residing in my small house
And through narrow lanes
in blood you enter my house

my heart's expanse knows
no limits to the universe
I see you and I see it all
In you I see the universe

I see the flowers bloom
in middle of rustic autumn
and the fragrance around
reaching my heart's bottom

I see the sun shine bright
even on gloomy winter night
I see across once frozen lake
and marvel at nature's sight

The river crawls to my feet
from the land of your field
I dive, soak in it each day
and in it my wounds heal

I look up to the heavens
the sight no longer entices
Ah leave me with my love
wise men, I love my vices

The lord may live there
but for me its my love
you seek what you revere
and let me revere my love

Thorn

little thorn on the stem
beautiful, adoring that it is
as it sits next to the rose
how could it not be beautiful
if one lives with the rose

it pricks me on touch
reminding me of mine
when i touch the rose
now I know how beautiful
thorn makes the rose

it shoots from the same
stem that bears the bud
which blooms into rose
there thorns stands beautifully
next to it guarding the rose

Ah what pride, what pride
it does possess in itself
that its straight unlike rose
standing tall and beautiful
yet not suppressing the rose

from the day I saw the rose
I have loved the thorn 
for there is no way a rose
can ever be that beautiful
being in pair - thorn and rose

I got your fragrance

I got your fragrance from the wind
and since then am looking for you
The streets here are dancing with joy
as I run around them calling for you
the buds are all blooming tonight
ready to smile and welcome you
Moon and stars shine bright tonight
hoping to catch a glimpse of you
Am panting with all the running now
My heart races for a glimpse of you
my hands burnt from torches I lit
so that streets are bright for you
My eyes wander for as far as I see
just to get a fleeting glimpse of you
I close my eyes and my heart see
same happy, blessed image of you
I wait now at the gate of the city
spreading my sight as carpet for you
your tender feets can now walk
without worry of pebbles for you
Spring too waits with bated breath
to show its full fragrance to you
My heart pumps faster and faster
just because its about to see you

विराना

है सदा साथ तू ही बनके अब हमनवां मेरा
कहीं तुझे मेरे गुनाहों की सज़ा न मिल जाए

या इलाही बात करता हूँ हर पल यूँ ही तुझसे
इक फ़रियाद है, हमसफ़र हमज़ुबाँ हो जाए

साथ रहता यह हमसफ़र बनके हमदम मेरा
पर देख और को न जाने यह कहाँ ग़ुम जाए

सुनता रहता है यह हर कही-अनकही बातें
ज़वाब माँगूँ तो देखकर बस मुस्कुराता जाए

है किसी का ऐसा हमसफ़र जैसे मेरा विराना
जब सब साथ छोड़ दें हैं तो यह साथ हो जाए

एक मैं ही हूँ जो निभाता है तेरे साथ वरना
वो कौन है जिसका तेरे साथ बसर हो जाए

My wings are burned

My wings are burned
from my flight to sun
yet I flew, in dreams
where you are only one

My heart is sad
am away from you
yet I sit down, to sing
happy songs with you

My house is in ruins
from tremors of heart
yet you are alive kicking
in depths of the heart

My breath is shallow
in cleanest of the air
yes, I breath shallow
without strand of your hair

My dreams have outrage
in the darkest of moon
yet, I try to sleep without you
in nights with or without moon

My bed is still all empty
with crumpled sheets you left
yet, I mend it each morning
hoping you will join in life left

My soul is clenched
with all your memories
yet, I hold out to you, that
I will fulfill all my promises

I love you

I love you not with my eyes
not with my hands or my lips
my heart too will wither one day
hence I love you from existence
of my soul which will go on to live
beyond my and your life time
beyond this sky and many more
across this infinite universe
so that even when I am not there
even when this earth and
the heavens seize to exist here
my love will go on living
in my soul from one life to another
from one form to another
across rivers, lands and oceans
manifesting itself across all of them
only to seek you, to again love you
To hold you yet again
in next life and there after
and to love you from begining
of universe to its very end

Soul's wait

My soul wriggles and wails in grief
originating from depth of my chest
in that gaping hole between my ribs
nothing there, where you once lived

My soul peeps into gloomy world
through little windows below forehead
to find a big crowd without you
inhaling air devoid of your fragrance

My hands are stretched like this
for months now, since last we met
my soul is longing for your touch
to heal my hollow aching breast

Love, I call out your name here
these walls listen to it over and over
my words wither and turn yellow
before falling off as autumn leaves

As a shaved, barren tree then
I wait for the cold white winter
to pass, hibernating and calling
your name on beads of my heart

My soul is as a larve in cocon
waiting for you to come as spring
and inspire my wings to take flight
with your sight your fragrance

Till then I have the ugly darkness
of the shell of your memories
in which I live without you now
with an impatient waiting aching soul

I am still not you

I am still not you, and thats my shame
our souls are still different, that's my pain

I want to be the  river that races to the sea
only to lose myself and thereafter live as you

I want to be drop that merges in your ocean
and then on my name, my whole existence roars

I want to be the color that is mixed in water
so that  my color and your color is the same

I want to be the ray that pierces in the day
so that I am light and light is me through day

I want to be the stars of the moon lit night
so that we; moon and stars can be together

I want to be the darkest hour of that night
so that when you sleep my dark is part of that

When silence could speak

When Silence could speak
why words where preferred
I left the expanse of seas
to be in river, barely heard

Banished to travel distances
along the meandering river
until I again meet the seas
universal, expansive, quiver

Now I seek across the seas
that expanse that was you
I seek from horizon to horizon
I seek the light that is you

Memories of you are fresh
on sand across this expanse
perfect; yet a bit imperfect
turning, giving your glance

I see your glorious face
and I live a thousand lives
when you set across horizon
just see how night survives

come you glowing face
come you beating heart
come oh, beautiful soul
I am here for my part

take away all moments
Take away my breath
for that one moment
then I embrace death

Night came with you here

Night came without you here
I slept again without your gaze
Woke up in morning to empty bed
Could not see you through haze
 (This was a micro poetry done a few days back taken forward)

My little eyes wander endlessly
seeking you from room to room
from one end of earth to another
from now until the day of doom

my blood races from vein to vein
searching for you through each
all drops say they know you well
but do not know where to reach

Through tight alleys blood enters
into small house that houses you
its small, without your presence
knows no expanse when with you

My desires pound against it walls
to find them grow in your presence
and suddenly my desires suffocate
and die their death in your absence

The day goes without you yet again

I again lie in bed without your gaze
night comes, goes crawling on heart
but I do not see you in this haze

In the sunset of my dreams

In the sunset of my dreams,
I see you setting across horizon
slowly moving away from sight
clouds bleeding red in separation (Micropoetry written till here few days back)

The sun kisses a final goodbye
paves way for moon and stars
the moon shines through the dark
but carries with it love's scars

Silver moon shines all alone
searching endlessly for its love
Stars flicker through the night
in hide-seek with night's glove

The silence of the night expanse
from one horizon onto another
loud, deafening, lonely, silence
with just these dreams to bother

My dreams they are all taken
its you and I am not mistaken
yet you decide to hide in them
a glimpse and sleep is broken

Where?

Where?
Where are you?
That no word reaches
through these winds
riding roaring waves
over the rivers of time
tracing silver lining
of the shining moon
along the flickering
light of distant stars
till my eyes can see
that the place, earth's
fragrance, can exist

How?
How far are you?
that light can hide you
and dark takes over
my sight still betrays
my voice turns faint,
echoes, and goes silent
that air is now dry
and clouds do not know
how do you look
and the breath asks
for whom you breathe 

I seek you in

I seek you in each fleeting moment of night
in midst of sleep in happiest of my dreams

I see you with my eyes in darkest of the hours
or in blurred form in middle or the sun's light

Perhaps you are here or perhaps your memories
do not leave me, clogging my thoughts all over

My mind is like a desert at time of early dawn
empty without stars, without light, without moon

I stare endlessly at the vast ocean in front
there is no trace of you in the vast emptiness

In your absence waves keep lashing at my heart
waves of your memories, one after other, endlessly

Am alone in sand, yet when I turn back and see
there are marks of your feet walking along mine

Marks that are made by your memories in my heart
that do not go away with any of the lashing wave

Waves do come and go, leaving the marks there
just filling them with water to stand out again

I make pits in sand, between those marks and waves
I see your reflection in each pit as water fills them

I can no longer stop the water to come and show me
your presence in solitude of this lonely desert dawn

now my feet are tired, even though the walk was short
I hold you in me, though no one sees me carrying you

In between masses, i had longed for this solitude
I have this solitude, but the memories continue to echo

In middle of this island where I house your memories
I carry a dead mans burden with me in this dead body

My little heart aches, and this pain is never ending
like a seeping wound that continues to bleed very slowly

My wound does not heal in-spite of passing of seasons
I lose strength with every single dripping drop of blood

I look at the drops and I realize it is not just me
my blood has your essence in each and every drop

Even though I keep losing you in each moment of time
you keep growing on me in my memories of good times

I want to hold the image that lives in me now
but the image is blurred, faint, am unable to grab

I want to hug you, here, now in this lonely land
but then you are here, yet you are too far for me

I want to hold your hand and walk again with you
on the same waters of time we walked back then

on the same sands where we had left our marks
not as two bodies but as one soul that existed

You live on in my memories and in buds of spring
that I see flower this season, with colors, fragrance

I hold flowers to feel you close, inhale fragrance
alas, they are no where close to your feel, fragrance

I feel the spring has lost its glory and colors
without you the spring is dull, all life faded

why do I wait for another spring, another bloom
all I have now is blurring memories and lost hope

I long for you, from ages, before, ages here after
My soul is tired, how many  more lives should it wait

dreams of you

Each night I sleep with
dreams of you, with you
and the night is then
full of colors of spring

my bed is all fragrant
to welcome the dawn
of a new day of hope
to sustain me in the sun

that exists without you
for me to wait yet again
for the night to sleep
again with your dreams

I soak in the fragrances
each night in my sleep
my breath then is filled
by your presence in them

Ah, how eagerly do I
wait for this night then
that each day is just
passing for night to come

Love, tell me when will
this wait of mine be over
when my days will be
as fragrant as the nights

In what day I will have
colors of spring in my life
fragrance of those flowers
in breath in day, in night

I yearn for your smile, that
laughter that does entangle
me to this life now, hence
I wait for dreams of you

I wait for dreams of you
to see through another
white, cold, bitter winter
in hope of a colored spring

I live through hot summer
and barren shaven autumn
only for this hope of spring
I live in my dreams of you

Each night as I close my
eyes, I see an image of
yours but it gets blurred
my dreams need a sight

Sight yet again for them
to see you once again
to relive those moments,
for dreams to be fresh again

I have lost my way

I have lost my way
in middle of this sea
who do I call out here
there is no shore to see

I seek you today
like i did yesterday
but there is no sign
of you even till today

The sea is endless from
one horizon to another
and the more i try to find
I end up sailing further

Ah! what sea is this
vast without shore
just like your wait
endless with no shore

now I am losing hope
for am certain to drown
both in this endless sea
in wait without you around

why do leaves

why do leaves fall in autumn
to leave alone shaven branches
why do petals wait for spring
and have the winter wanting

why seas roar in summers
even when rivers run dry
why rivers freeze in winters
when the oceans are waiting

why my tears do not drop
when the heart cries loud
why you stay awake all night
my eyes hurt in its waiting

why do you not come near
my arms are eager for hug
why, why, so may whys love
with these how do I ever love

Love's wound

How do I live with this wound
My Heart, my bleeding heart,
why does the image stand out
in front of my eyes, closed eyes
why does blood go on seeping
through veins, bleeding veins
what will heal these wounds
that pain me, pain my heart
the scars keep getting deeper
cuts in skin, cuts deep in skin
why do I try to collect myself
when am in pieces, multiple pieces
I find no medication to heal
my torn soul, torn tattered soul
why have my tears dried up
my red eyes, my dry red eyes
I hear nothing except myself
my sobs, my simmering sobs
Love, how do I still breathe
vacuum, sans you this vacuum
why then I live with this wound
my wound, my love's wound

I do not love you

I do not love you as stars and moon
nor do I love you as earth and sun
for they separate each day and night
I love you as flower and fragrance
for you never leave me when you go
I live as long as you are in my being
and wither and die along with you
I love you as the sun and its light
where an eclipse can only hide it
but never separate the two of them
I love you as the moon and moonlight
which shines as bright as the moon
and vanishes when there is new moon

I do not love you as light and dark
nor do I love you as fire and wood
for they consume each other to die
I love you as the water and earth
which nourishes it makes it green
I live then through the pastures
and transform myself in your being
I love you as the drop and the sea
which merges in you without a trace
there is no I, just presence of we
I love you as the river and ocean
which roars, celebrates on meeting
and looses itself to be a single being

I do not seek the stars

I do not seek the stars or the night
nor the shining armor of the moon
that appears on this dark-dark night
that is darkest due to your absence

I look at the sky and across horizon
across many lands and many breezes
across the darkness of these seas
whose presence I know by its waves

I endlessly wait for the new dawn
I wait for the sun to shine bright
and lighten this land and these seas
only to be disappointed each time

I sustain myself through hot afternoon
not knowing what twilight will bring
I still look across the horizon, waiting
I see many ships, but not one I wait

I have spent days and nights together
I have withered in this pain endlessly
only seeking you without any pride
yet I smoulder and continue to burn

I seek you today like I did seek before
I seek you in fragrance of every breath
in the noise of every beat of my heart
cause there's no other way I know to live

Love, Where are you?

Love, Where are you?
The spring is here now
with bloom all around
colors, fragrance abound

Love, where are you
for I have search all
in the budding leaves
in roots south bound

Love, where are you
missing from soil below
not in stars or the moon
nor in sun that was round

Love, where are you
the buds all seek you
have bloomed with
many thorns to hound

Love, where are you
I put my ears to ground
no footsteps, no voice
quiet, silent no sound

Butterfly

Ah! What colors they have
delicate and yet so bright
full of varied hues these wings
with which the butterfly flies

I do not dare touch them
for they may just break apart
or at least lose its color
not let butterfly be butterfly

In life, cannot touch butterfly
How do I touch your being
for that is so delicate and pure
that my hands may leave marks

How do I hold you close
how do I feel your breath
how do I be in your life
if it takes away your colors

Yet we are bound together
by a thread that's delicate
it does not touch your wings
does not harm your being

We are bound together
by a delicate thread that
I had tied with you once
a thread of dreams ours

Don't break the thread
for it carries my being
it carries my hope in it
carries my spring, heaven

without your being

Without your being, my life
had turned colorless stale
no fragrance in breaths
and no sight to entice days

I woke up early under stars
to catch up dawn's colors
in this lively fragrant spring
amid bloom in gardens

I waited for dawns colors
and with them fragrances
to rise up from the flowers
only to be disappointed

Dawn did not have colors
like I see them in your being
neither the spring was fragrant
even close to your perfume

How else now do I cover
this vacuum you have left
me living a dull life here in
without your colors, perfume

The only color I have is
in midst of my dreams
that are filled with you
but they too are fading

How else do I put color to
these moments that pass
how do I breathe fragrance
in each of my breath now

Cruel second autumn

The wind raced across the streets
banging open doors and window
but those that were closed, could
never know a storm below over
leaving behind a yellow autumn
of crumpled leaves all around
even during the season of spring
all the trees barren, stark naked
and soon we will have hot summers
without leaves to give any shade
ah summer after another autumn
winter followed by another autumn
yellow, crumpled, odorless autumn
in season of spring, colorless autumn

as I bend down to pickup leaves
I see they are not brown or yellow
they are neither dried nor aged yet
yet the eccentric wind had its way 
tearing young leaves all around
snatching the buds from the thorns
petals from flowers delicate crown
taking away all these spring fragrances
along with the torn petals and buds
that line the pathway all along
welcoming the sun to its own land
announcing to the world here and there
summer is just here, summer is just here
a summer that comes after a long
long winter and a cruel second autumn

कभी धड़कनों का शोर था

कभी धड़कनों का शोर था
आज खामोशियों का दौर है
तब गूँजती थीं मेरी ख्वाहिशें
आज सन्नाटों का अजब शोर है

आज बैठी हुई हैं धड़कनें
कहीं खो गई सारी हसरतें
कभी तेरे जाने का मलाल था
आज अपने होने का खार है

कभी वो दिल दूर होके पास था
आज पास होके भी बहुत दूर है
कभी तेरे आघोश कि चाह थी
आज वो दिल तेरी ज़ुल्फ़ से दूर है

हाथ बढ़ाया था मैंने भी कभी
कि तेरा दामन मेरे ही पास था
आज आके तू वो भी पूछ गया
दामन पे मेरा क्या इख्तियार है

ले गया छीन के मेरे ख़्वाब भी
जिन ख़्वाबों पे  मेरा इख्तियार था
तू क्यों छोड़ गया फिर साँसें मेरी
इस ज़िस्म से साँस लेना बेकार है

लिए बैठा हूँ आज भी उम्मीद तेरी
क्यों तुझे मेरी उम्मीद से इंकार है
न बन सका तू मेरा हमसफ़र तो क्या
हमनफ़स तेरी सूरत का इन्तिज़ार है

I have never known love,

I have never known love,
without her curled hair
without her light lips
without blooming smile

It was easy, yet difficult
as mixing of two elements
like fire and water together
breathtaking, fire on water

I held on to my notions
knowing well that love
was someone elses, cause
there is only one I know love

to hold onto the feeling
beyond life and death
beyond this breath and
beyond heaven and hell

Ask me not how it was
for i have not seen heaven
neither i have seen hell
but I have seen her, love

In this dark night of solitude
I seek signs of her in all
I see a reflection of her hair
I love it till I know its Else's

I see dark shadows bearing
resemblance to her being
I chase them through the day
only to lose them each night

I see those eyes, perfect eyes
deep, penetrating eyes of love
only in my dreams in slumber
but no longer with my eyes

My sleep is like that of glass
it breaks at slightest nudge
and the pieces hurt me then
when I have to walk on them

I am awake at each footstep
only to break into pieces
for not having seen you
for carrying an image of you

But see am destroyed here
shattered to pieces now
each carrying your reflection
from far, across horizons

I would have not known love
had it not been for your heart
had it not been for your caress
had it not been for your hug

Your memories lash the shores of heart

Your memories lash the shores of heart
one night after another, with light of stars

I bear the brunt of the assault of these
one wave another another, relentless flow

how do I hold my tears in eyes, numb
they do not bat an eyelid, do not reat

My heart stands as a glass wall which just
shattered to pieces all around this earth

my steps hurt me as the glass pierces thru
as dagger of memories goes through heart

Agony, the pain would have been less if
the dagger had killed me then and there

but how do I live now, with this dagger
which is still in heart, with it how do I die

with every sob the dagger moves a little
and a little blood drips through the wounds

but my cloths are dirty but no longer red
the blood oozes but it does not have color

without you the colors have deserted me
without you its just an endless lonely expanse

The music plays here, but I do not hear
The music plays but there are no words

You were to sing the song with these beats
oh you were to make me listen to this

now all i have is a lonely deafening silence
that echoes across the land, across the seas

the shores of which I stand here, looking
across the horizon hoping to catch you.

how could you forget

O! hands,
how could you forget the thorn
when you go and pluck the rose
the stem will have a thorn there
always as its loyal companion
ensuring that it is not plucked
and grows on the stem only

O! feet,
how could you forget the earth
even though dreams are high
on which we can glide and fly
but in the end, we have to walk
on this earth with dust, pebbles
and feel them below our feet

O! eyes,
how could you forget the spring
for even when we look at autumn
the old there is shed to give way
for new green leaves to spring up
new colors and fragrances to adore
once the long harsh winter is gone

O! heart,
how could you forget the love
that came into life to be there
in your depths to merge with soul
and even when lover is not here
the essence is carried in you
through you into the soul to live

O! breath
how could you forget the air
it carries the world into you
through in-breathing, out-breathing
making me live so far on earth
making me experience life with you
and suffer without your being

O! pulse,
how could you forget how to race
you did not stop on seeing love
and yes even though love is far
hope of love exists deep within
I feel its presence around me
I have the essence within me

Stream of your being

The streams of your being
flows fast and furious
with so much noise that
you cannot even hear me
yet you smoothen my edges
as that of a pebble which
falls in gust of your flow
and settles deep down
in your invisible depths
as you roar from the high
mountains onto low plains
carrying with you water
giving life to thirsty earth

The wheel of yours that
turns fast to mold lives
has turned on me as well
I am no longer what I was
and am no longer me as well
am you from time  I met you
yet, I never realized this
until I tried to find you again
only to realize that I am you
that walks on this earth
in two different bodies
yet carries the same soul

The seeds that grow up
from fertile land of yours
are nothing but desires I
had carried of your presence
with me, in each every day
and each dark lonely night
in my eyes which await
your presence endlessly
by giving away their sleep
bartering them with wait
which never seems to end
here, in this life, on this earth.

When world seeks dawn

When world seeks dawn
I go on seeking nights
to sleep in its dark lap
see you in my dreams

when the dawn arrives
it brings with it sadness
of not being with you
not seeing your face

What else can be there
to live on the earth here
except to feel its nature
see your face in morning

I long to have you near
close to heart, my eyes
for them to wake up
each morning to you

I want feel your breath
on my temple, my face
and see you right here
now sleeping peacefully

I want to feel your hands
when you turn in sleep
cause it helps me know
that you are just fine

I want to be disturbed
by your hair on my face
it tells me I will see you
like each day in morning

what sight does world wait
for the dawn can never be
with its sun as beautiful
as I see, when I see you

My secrets are all out

My secrets are all out
am disgraced forever
like a long wax candle
that earlier stood tall
has melted to ground
laying in heaps there
without shape or form
I find myself in pieces
spread around place
where I once stood tall

My heart bleeds now
blood oozes in tears
yet no one sees the red
on my cheeks dripping
my tears are uninvisible
as drops of a dark cloud
which never ever rains
and I seethe within me
burning my pride, ego
begging for a little time

My sorrow engulfs me
one wave after another
covering sands of shore
with water once more
I seek out the signs
that your feet had left
in this shore walking
hand in hand with me
in this sand before waves
washed them all away

My soul burns again
like an invaluable dream
that has been lost forever
without materializing
or coming to life even
once in these little breath
Again, I seek your signs
amongst stars of heaven
to find that heaven is hell
without your presence

You are never going to ask

You are never going to ask,
but how I wish you would, that,
where I am always entangled
where I am lost in thought
so that I can come to you
and whisper in your ears
that am lost in my thoughts
which are entangled in your hair
I hold each strand one by one
admiring the beauty it holds
each same and yet so different
each beautiful by radiance
that emanates from your heart
I touch one, I am entangled
then I see another, i touch
and I get caught in it
willingly entrapped in those
close to you, close to your soul
Ah that heaven that exists
in my thoughts, in dreams
and yet I am so distant, far
so far, that even my voice
dies, before it reaches your shore
I hear the waves going away
lost in the seas far, in ocean
but I have not heard the waves
roaring and coming my way
I don't hear with them
your voice that comes this way
and I await with a hope then
that you will come this way
hoping that you will ask
knowing fully well, that
You are never going to ask

Every song I have

Every song I have sung
since time I started speaking
my first syllable, first word
has been only about you
Every smile I have had
from when I knew happiness
on this earth on my lips
has been due to you
Every cry I have made
since my first cry was head
from day of birth to now
stems from your separation
Every tear that I shed
from time I learned to cry
has been in an agony
due to your absence from me
Every breath that I take
from moment I learned to breathe
this air around me from spring
has carried with it your fragrance
Every time my heart beats
since the time it started beating
on each counted bead of its
have been chanting your name
Every time my eyes blink
they begin looking for you
around here all over again
not knowing that you are in soul

I carry in my heart

I carry in my heart
an everlasting flower
which retains fragrance
its color, freshness
for time immortal
before I was born
to after I will die
your love that blooms
like a fresh flower
will remain as is
The petals will never
dry and turn pale
fragrance intact
with a smile that
comes from whole
self and not just lips

I carry in my heart
never ending desire
of the feeling of
your arms wrapped
around my neck
holding me tight
in that bear hug
never to let me go
to always hold me
tight in ever lasting
bear-hug of yours
that leaves your lingering
fragrance and essence
in me, in my heart
from now onwards
till time immemorial

my heart breaks

my heart breaks
I cry out loud
I pick up pieces
restart life again
and again I see
an image of yours
I seek you infinitely
in between breaths
between silence of
two musical notes
that originate from
the air that you blow
in your magical instrument

I shut myself
to these sounds
I close my eyes
to the light around
but again I see
an image of yours
I seek you infinitely
in middle of dreams
in each tear of pain
in each cry of agony
in each moment of life
that is wasted
without your being

My heart is torn
it has broken again
for umpteen times
it breaks and breaks
yet It does not want
anything save you
It does not seek
anyone but you
as my cries die
and my tears dry
my heart still sobs
in your absence
that goes through me

What did I do

Oh what did I do
why did I fall in love
with one who is afraid
to even call me back

I have cut my soul
to cover her adobe
yet beloved is afraid
to speak a word

I shout in streets
I dance in market
beloved just hides
in walls of her own

I stare at love's window
I sleep at love's door
yet beloved latches it
fearing worlds reprise

I fight massive storms
shield summer heat
yet love does not trust
my soul is for her

I sold my senses,
I sold my breath
yet the beloved says
she is still so poor

my heart is long gone
my soul is in tatters
am still beating walls
love built around her

i will keep beating
till the walls crumble
may be this life of next
i will be in love's nest

O Breath, behold

O Breath, behold
see the wonders around
clouds are spread
sun about to touch ground
sky bleeds with colors
bird chirps are all around
Ah, light in face
all rays are earth bound
Black, Blue, Red
give way to light around
dew just settled
flowers with drops found
Men, women start toil
and many tilt the ground
nocturnal are gone
there is no fear to hound

O Breath, behold
as children seek to play
wheel is turning
pots are being made of clay
its bright, its sunny
its yet another lovely day
markets start to open
people line the long way
varied faces glimmering
as stars of the milky way
the prairies are green
some cattle have gone astray
sun peaks, men break
food, siesta, laying on hay
then heat is down
all down to close the day

O Breath, behold
as the sun begins to set
the clouds are down
a riot of colors to bet
ah, the sun enchants
kissing distant ocean, its wet
blue, red, black
light gives way to dark net
stars start to twinkle
moon hasn't come out as yet
ah moon, ah the moon
out of dark in silvery nett
silence sings beautifully
milky way twinkling as rosette
men go sleep to awake
as another day of wonder beget

about a year back

In the loud shining lights
in the sound of drums
and strumming of strings
in the air of trumpets
I walk away from noise
towards the door outside
hoping to see you, now
hoping for a glimpse
when my eyes deceive me
I see hazy form there
just like i had seen you
about a year back
I see you walking
I feel you seeing me
from across the door
ready to come to me
yet I don't see you clearly
the image is blurred
my memory of you is blurred
I do not remember anymore
how exactly you looked
about a year back
how you had walked
about a year back
how you had hugged me
about an year back
and yet I feel its you
that is across the door
waiting to walk in there
its your image I see
through the glass door
and yet my eyes betray me

Light of Spring

This light of spring tears me apart
bright sun, glory colors, fragrances
they all do kill me in my silence
that exists because of your absence
my lips locked by frost of your hands
my chest is sealed by your last hug
O! Love, how far back was that
how far back that we had met
I still remember you as I saw you
I saw you last just before autumn
and this year autumn is still far
how do I live till autumn arrives
not knowing if I would see you then
I no longer touch anything in world
Oh, its coarse, all objects are coarse
after I held tenderness of your skin
nothing has that softness, nothing
and in this dark night away from you
in this dark night devoid of your eyes
I can cry, silently, without the world
silently, without anyone to know
how much I have loved you here
how many times I die waiting for you

Its twilight

Its twilight
as I look outside window
tracking steps you and I
took hand in hand
on the same path
under this colored sky
recollecting each foot
put there at a time

Today in this evening
no one has seen us
together walking
here hand in hand
today in this dusk
the clouds cover sun
the colors are sad
like my battered heart

We have lost this
evening from us
we have lost this
time forever now
we both are now alone
we  lost togetherness
you and I are no longer
we, you and I are different

As I slip into bed
I seek up to stars
to ask if they remembered
what they had witnessed
when you and I, were we
and the stars did not answer
but I could see tears

These tears then dripped
through those clouds
onto my body, my soul
only to burn and sizzle
with the agony of my heart
what is charring now
in your absence here
without your presence here

I counted

I counted
silvery moon nights
of separation,
then I lost count
I then counted
dark moonless nights
yet again I lost count
I counted winter weeks
that passed by and
my hands were full
I could count no more
I could remember
your face no more
I could no more feel
air with your fragrance

How many more nights
how many more moons
without your curled hair
without your eyes glitter
without your breath on me
How many more nights
with no sleep or dreams
no hope or aching despair
how many more nights
of painful separation
how many more nights
of eyes in waiting
how many more nights
without your love

And then I died

And then I died
I dies not because
there was no air to breathe
or no water to drink
I died because of your absence
because you were not here
with me in life
may be dying was just
your absence from life

Ah Love! how do I live
in this void without you
in this vast land and seas
without a speck to hold
in this gloomy cloudy day
without a sun to guide
In this thorny existence
with no fragrance to live
ah just thorns without rose

I held a flower once
and petals began to fall
one by one all petals down
the same happened
from every branch
from every stem of Rose
from every stem of Lilly
I kept waiting for the time
when the whole flower will drop

The leaves turned yellow
and crumbled to the ground
the stems lost flowers
but they never fell as whole
I waited the whole winter
and hoping for spring
Love, spring has come
spring has come a new
flowers still don't beckon

hence I am dead
flower doesn't come to me
only falling petals
of a love that I lived
only fleeting fragrance
from this wind that blows
only the depressed waves
of ocean we walked once
and hence I died

Migratory Birds

I saw a flock of birds
migratory, heading back
as the winter is easing
to their far away home
little did I realize
that they headed in
direction of yours
yes, they are coming
to the place you live
just to pass by and
move further North
but Love, do not worry
am not a bird and
winter for me is
still not over yet
long, solitary winter
continues for months
also let it be known
that as migratory birds
do not fly back alone
you will never see me
coming your way alone
as migratory birds
die when stranded
without their love
in this long migration
I shall die too here
without your presence
I shall die without
seeing you again
unless I had wings
and long long flights
like migratory birds
to fly with them
towards your home
only to stay back there
and not go forward
with them onwards north
but its full of a lot of "if"
only if I had the wings
the wings of your love

Pangs of Separation

Stillness of this night hurts me
more so now when am alone without you

night with glittering stars, moon
has tree in silver light standing alone

I wait for you, like each day of life
waiting to hear voices from across ocean

ocean too is silent today with no waves
they are in sorrow, solemn with my solitude

Even this wind is still today, still
with me, my heart and my being without you

In this night my eyes search for us,
Love, we are no longer we, we are not the same

Am without you here and you far
what can be worse than this night without you

Yet I have company of these tears
that roll down my cheeks one after another

My tears fall on bloom of your memories
only to appear as dew on flowers in morning

I pick these flowers, they are withered
but they carry your fragrance, without you

I carry you with me through my heart
through these little petals that do not look same

Oh, how do I remember your face
I have not seen you for days for nights here

This night is still the same without us
we are no longer what we used to, we are alone

I recollect your steps in the far streets
and I see your marks in spite of passing of time

Those streets that we roamed together
they still call out to both of us, to relive them

Yet I do not hear your voice now,
even though those streets are farther than you

How do I live without your eyes
big, bright eyes, with the glimmer of life for me

Love, why do we have to live suffering
why we are across borders and oceans suffering

This night is quiet as so many before it
not knowing that a storm brews in our hearts alone.

immortal

O Heart!
She is gone
yet you carry her
you keep staring at her
beyond the realms of time
beyond this night and day
you continue to seek her
infinitely
across this universe

O Heart!
why do you weep
so silently that even
I do not hear your sobs
when I know deep within
that you are torn
broken into pieces
unable to collect yourself
unable to let her go

O Heart!
give out a shriek
let tears roll down
relieve yourself of agony
let the boil go
for invariable
both you and her
were never gonna be
Immortal

Love's rage

My hollowness in this lonely hour
echoes across my existence
yet i do not know if it reaches you

My emptiness cries out loud
yet the voice dies in heart
I wither in shrieks of pain
and in heart all pain sinks

I look around for you
only to find your resemblance
in mirror, I see raging fire

In these entwined flames
that bears your mortal form
I seek the water to quench
my desire of your love

I have lost hope, not love
I have lost heart, not desire
hence I continue to seek you

I can live without this air
can quench thirst sans water
but how do I ever live
without your presence

I am afraid to even blink
cause at every blink of my eye
I seek your presence in me

My being here is mortal
yet my desire of you immortal
without you how else do i live
how else do I remain a mortal

how many more

How many more suns
how many more moons
how many moonless nights
being away from you
how many more breaths
how many more love

I open door to my
house each morning
I switch off lights
of house each night
to see your absence from
dawn to dusk to dawn

Love, I ask you
to hold me in this
dark and blinding light
through the dark alleys
full of indifference
into you, into love

what flows in my veins
is your remembrance
roaring like raging river
through numerous rapids
flow bashing on heart
leaving sand, memories

I try to set sail on a boat
of yours, but the memories
lash against the mast
leaving it in taters
Yet again I try to go
and yet again am beaten

cup of life

I stare at life's ocean
wave after wave lashes
across me, deep in me
in my heart that sighs
waiting for sign of you
yet my life waits in vain
as the water fills here
cup is about to overflow
I still seek to see you
my eyes are not drowned
I try to keep afloat
drop by drop it pours
ah these drops of time
they have so far stayed
below my two eyes to let
me see across distant horizon
but who knows here, when
the cup decide to fill up, but
I will till then, till eternity
keep searching for signs
of yours in that horizon
till the dusk of my life
is there, till last breath
till the last drop of time
fills my only cup of life

forgotten you

I look at the sun
and I close my eyes
only to see my heart cry
I open my eyes
for the moon
and I again cry
for I have not seen you
now in seasons

Love, how do I live
for I catch your glimpse
through every star
of this infinite universe
in the moon that shines
and in the moonless nights
I see you in each window
and in each blink of eye

I seek you not knowing
that I loved you once
and now I have forgotten you
I have forgotten your face
in all these days being away
I do not recollect your arms
and how I felt in them
I have forgotten you, love

I lost my desire to love
as a flower which is plucked
looses fragrance and is doomed
to die as a petal  separated
from the bud showing color
only to die slowly
I have suffered like a thorn
whose flower is away

I know you loved me once
I know you did but once
I don't know if you still do
but I don't love you anymore
I don't love you anymore
I don't love, but may be
may be i still love you
i do not know if I do

How will I know if I do
you are far, across oceans
yet i have your fragrance
I miss your touch on me
I miss me holding your hand
may be i have forgotten you
I have forgotten your face
but how do I forget your soul

Colors at Dawn

The colors at dawn show again
and there are clouds too yet again
playing havoc with the sun's light
and dance of more colors in sight

Alas, I stand at dawn waiting
for her to come here seeking
if not me, then just these colors
but are pale in front of her colors

I see these colors and I remember
her laughter that filled chamber
I seek fragrance of wet dew, earth
I remember her's a buds birth

Ah! don't play havoc with heart
don't ever bind this free flying bird
but then it always flew seeking you
 tracing through every other clue

O! Sun, O! clouds, O! horizon
did you see her in sky as Orion
her arrow is half pierced in there
then why I cry in pain alone here

O Wind, go take my cries where
lives the stoned heart in walls there
ask her why did she leave the arrow
Can't live, but still no death to borrow

Why is dawn so lovely and I awake
I may have loved to think its fake
but no, the earth and sun make love
yet again, before sun rises far, above

Love! Dont just wait and see my pain
your indifference has a lot to explain
you came to me and created a stir
I hope me and you in dreams were

bread

Love, my hunger here knows
no bounds in life and yet its
not the baker's grains that
I ever seek to satiate myself
I long for you, your grains
the glowing flare of your skin
to bake, have it whole and
I was down there burning
as a piece of black coal
holding onto my flares for
your harvest's dough to land
and let me help the grain
to bake as an earth bread
to rise into you with this fire
that rages high in my heart,
and I have it alive waiting till
You came and embraced me
just for those fleeting moments
and then retreated fearing
that my flame will char bread
not knowing that dough had
cooled me down while baking
and all I am now capable is just
to keep you warm for whatever
life is left now in me and you
 

I Loved the night

I loved the night, for I was with you
in peace in my dreams you all along
and then came this dawn of new day
and then so much I hated this dawn
that I waited whole day for sun to set
and this dusk to arrive once again
and me to sleep, slip back in dreams
where I see you yet again as always
sleeping peacefully with smile on lips
lest you come back and complain
that you do not dream now of love
lest you come back and tell me
that your dreams are no longer good
lest you come back frightened
and tell that all you have is nightmare
and that would be the end of me
for I would have failed to keep you
isolated of this pain, fear and anguish
that world has brought through day
even at night when you sleep here
in my dreams peacefully with a smile.

Who am I

Who am I
when you are not with me
I was rich
but then you were with me
now am poor
without you, all riches leave me
I again seek you
even when my feet  betray me
I walk across cities
yet your glimpse is hidden from me
I swim across oceans
and the fishes hide you from me
where do I seek
for earth hides you, betrays with me

What do I become
that I may be able to find you
I you are the wind
I would be the dust that blows along 
If you are water
I would be the cloud waiting to rain
If you are the flower
I would be a thorn growing below
If you are the color
I would be a white canvas to paint
If you are the spring
I would be ground on which you grow

I have held breath for
spring to come to get your fragrance
I have soaked for
the rains to end show me your rainbow
I have burned for
night to fall to meet you in my dreams
I have longed for
your window for a glimpse of you
I have been thirsty for
you to come and quench my thirst
I have waited for
you at your doorstep since eternity

Our Time

There are days that are sunnier,
and gardens are full of blossom
riot of color may erupts around
and the air will be all fragrant
yet all this pales when you and I
meet to have a time that is ours

In this place or in distant land
in sad autumn when leaves pale
or on rusted paths they crumble
even in snow covered white winters
or a hot barren sandy dune desert
our time is still as beautiful as ever

In tender arms of yours and mine
or just as close as the worldly sight
or across cities that we may live
or even if it is across rivers, borders
continents and numerous oceans
me and you, our time still beautiful

In caring of your curled locks
or under the scorching hot sun
In clouds fluttering as white flag
moving away waving good bye
then coming back down as rain
our time will always be beautiful

no longer me

You come in life and
wave me good bye
as a gust of winds
hits my face and
moves on far away
without any trace
yet I keep with me
your memories and
that gentle little touch
made in that instant
that you were here
and each memory
goes in me like
a roaring river
that passes through
my heart to beat
against the rocks
only to move on
and for next wave
to again rise, slam
splash there to die
but even if I were to live
you won't be alive
for you would have
then died here now
from my heart and
even though you
will live on this earth
you would then
no longer be in here
with my aching heart
that has longed for you
and even though I  live
am no longer me
am no longer alive

I Love this air

I seek you in each moment
in each gust of wind here
in each sunrise of the day
I seek you in myself too
yet I love all that exists
I love all that is you, yours
I love this air, this breeze
it carries your fragrance
from you to me far away
I love these rare rainbows
for they borrow your colors
to splash them across horizon
I love these waves this sea
as it they have your essence
touching you in distant land
I love these forgotten promises
for they are the ones you made
and have your reasons in it
I love the silence that I have
cause it has your echo in it
it resonates from my ear to ear
I love this rain, as these clouds
passed over your house on way
they convey your well-being to me
I love my heart, my faint pulse
not for keeping me alive so far
but to remind me your presence

you and I

Love,
Don't despair
life hasn't stopped
the air still flows
and we can see
each other
in this day
and through
the dark of night
holding hands
as if to go
forever like this
you and I

Beyond the
valleys of cold
and hills of sorrow
in the meandering
rivers of tears
I would still
seek you
now and
from here on
always,
to be there 
you and I

Love,
we have this air
always
this spring will
come back, always
these flowers
will grow again
and so would
this river which
dries in each
hot summer
do not despair
we will hold hands
you and I

हाल-ए-दिल

न हाल-ए-दिल बयां कर पाए ,
न हम उन्हे कभी भुला ही पाए

है ये केसी मेरे दिल की हसरत
बस एक झलक में बहल जाए

पर है अब ये कैसा खेल उनका
इधर से गुज़रे पर सामने न आए

ये भी शायद एक अदा है उनकी
ज़रा-ज़रा सताए, प्यास बड़ाए

न बोलूं तो इशारों से उकसाए
जो बोल दूँ तो वो युँ इतराए

है कैसी अब ये बेरूखी उसकी
देख कर भी अनदेखा कर जाए

मैं पुकारूँ फिर भी वो ना आए
मत पुछ के हम केसे जी पाए 

beyond me

I saw the colors of spring
sky's canvas at dawn dusk
yet its your colors that I seek
reason for this is beyond me

I inhaled fragrance of spring
and saw the magic of autumn
my heart still seeks to be you
reason for this is beyond me

I see the sun and the moon
and I see the stars abound
yet I seek shade of  your hair
reason for this is beyond me

A tulip face once came to me
so did a cypress form once
yet its your presence I search
reason for this is beyond me

I have traveled far and wide
covering land and oceans
yet I just seek your adobe
reason for this is beyond me

I met Krishna (god) on the way,
I saw a heavenly nymph
none I recollect except you
reason for this is beyond me

Love Sonnet

Love, I searched for you

in morning rays of sun

only to realize that light

was glow of your face

that sun borrowed for 

the day for it to shine

And when this borrowing

ended, it gave way to night

Love, then I looked towards

moon in your anticipation

only to find that poor moon

was just reflecting you

but muddled with it's own

cracks and scars it Has carried

with it from days it has

been forced to be away

From you, your love and those 

nights became dark moonless

Love, I seek you in those 

dark gory, moonless nights 

in the light of infinite stars

Only to find some measures

Of your feet on shifting sands

whose reflection became 

These numerous stars in sky

Perched in your hairs darkness

Love, I seek you in this air

That fills my lungs and soul

only then to realize that

My soul is not within me

it lives in you, hoping to

be there now and forever

as one soul across these
two bodies that we live in