I seek you in

I seek you in each fleeting moment of night
in midst of sleep in happiest of my dreams

I see you with my eyes in darkest of the hours
or in blurred form in middle or the sun's light

Perhaps you are here or perhaps your memories
do not leave me, clogging my thoughts all over

My mind is like a desert at time of early dawn
empty without stars, without light, without moon

I stare endlessly at the vast ocean in front
there is no trace of you in the vast emptiness

In your absence waves keep lashing at my heart
waves of your memories, one after other, endlessly

Am alone in sand, yet when I turn back and see
there are marks of your feet walking along mine

Marks that are made by your memories in my heart
that do not go away with any of the lashing wave

Waves do come and go, leaving the marks there
just filling them with water to stand out again

I make pits in sand, between those marks and waves
I see your reflection in each pit as water fills them

I can no longer stop the water to come and show me
your presence in solitude of this lonely desert dawn

now my feet are tired, even though the walk was short
I hold you in me, though no one sees me carrying you

In between masses, i had longed for this solitude
I have this solitude, but the memories continue to echo

In middle of this island where I house your memories
I carry a dead mans burden with me in this dead body

My little heart aches, and this pain is never ending
like a seeping wound that continues to bleed very slowly

My wound does not heal in-spite of passing of seasons
I lose strength with every single dripping drop of blood

I look at the drops and I realize it is not just me
my blood has your essence in each and every drop

Even though I keep losing you in each moment of time
you keep growing on me in my memories of good times

I want to hold the image that lives in me now
but the image is blurred, faint, am unable to grab

I want to hug you, here, now in this lonely land
but then you are here, yet you are too far for me

I want to hold your hand and walk again with you
on the same waters of time we walked back then

on the same sands where we had left our marks
not as two bodies but as one soul that existed

You live on in my memories and in buds of spring
that I see flower this season, with colors, fragrance

I hold flowers to feel you close, inhale fragrance
alas, they are no where close to your feel, fragrance

I feel the spring has lost its glory and colors
without you the spring is dull, all life faded

why do I wait for another spring, another bloom
all I have now is blurring memories and lost hope

I long for you, from ages, before, ages here after
My soul is tired, how many  more lives should it wait